This article is part of the That Insidious Beast series.
Do you feel remorse?
That word is appropriate. Some of those deaths were-
Jesus. Take a break REDACTED. Wait outside for a few minutes and get your damn head together.
I'm not done with you. (sound of door opening and then closing)
His vitals are still green.
Continue with what you were saying.
Some of the deaths were unavoidable. The majority were a consequence of the protracted conflict between your nation and those nations you believe to be harboring (unintelligible very loud sound accompanied by distortion on the recording).
Don't repeat that word.
I am sorry. I had forgotten it causes discomfort.
Without repeating that word, tell me what you are.
That is a very broad question.
You're not human.
You look human.
So do you.
I am human.
In that sense I am as well. Your doctor has no doubt confirmed as much.
But this isn't the real you.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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