"Nice golf swing... NOT! Go back to the practice range and leave the course to the big boys!"
"Look at the idiot putting his left hand on his chest during the anthem! Disrespectful prick!"
"Are those braces? What are you, a teenager?"
"Ha ha, this moron said 'You too' when the ticket seller told him to enjoy the show!"
"You want directions? Go buy a map, you hopeless dipshit!"
"Hey jackass! Here's a free tip: When you donate a bunch of new toys to charity, take the store tags off!"
"Could you possibly write that check any slower?"
"Keep holding that door open for other people and you'll never get in! What a schmuck."
"Where'd you learn to park, the school of Slow Motion Cautious Hesitation?"
"Yeah, great idea. Pick Reaper even though our team doesn't have any supports or tanks. Nice one."
"Hey moron! Your Harvard diploma is framed wrong. Anyone with half a brain knows the framed item shouldn't press directly against the glass."
"Who brings champagne to a dinner party? Pathetic. Wine, dude. Wine."
Levi Johnston finally comes clean about his involvement in the Weinstein scandal and details a disgusting incident that required a green screen.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? The manager's been following me around since the moment I set hoof in this place.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.