Hour 28: Pocari Sweat powder is running out. It's all I drink normally and it's made the boiled gray water taste tolerable. We've been scooping our water out of the toilet tanks in the men's room. I had trouble adjusting to washiki squat toilets when I first relocated to Japan, now I actually love them of course, but I decided to outfit our headquarters with Western-style toilets for visitors from our San Diego office. Speaking of Pocari Sweat, you may think it contains actual sweat, but it's really just chemicals designed to replenish nutrients. Think Gatorade, but obviously superior.
Hour 35: Some dolphins followed alongside the building for a day. There is a restaurant called Mammal Panic in Shinjuku that serves dolphin and whale sushi. It is very good with a salty and creamy flavor that you don't get in tuna or other fish. This is because the dolphins understand what it means to die and are therefore terrified of dying. Right now I am terrified of announcing our low-low preorder price on our Yuka Yoshino 1/7 Cast Off Figure. Yuka is from the manga Tsundero by Takeda Hiromitso and she comes in a tiny micro-bikini that you can just see through. This hand painted figure is very realistic and comes with cast off clothing to allow you to appreciate Yuka's sensitive areas. I assume these will arrive at our distribution center well outside the tsunami zone.
Tucker Carlson's idiot brother just called New York mayor Bill de Blasio's spokeswoman a "LabiaFace."
Hey, have you guys ever seen a picture of a cat before? Well, guess what. It’s your lucky day, because I’m mixing the concept of a picture of my cat with the concept of the Internet!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.