Hard times have resurrected the practice of buying products with layaway. Many budget shoppers have piled up the back rooms of Kmart hoping to afford gifts for family and friends, only to find themselves unable to keep up with payments or cover layaway fees. The spirit of giving has infested a few of the more fortunate, being called "Layaway Santas," who have anonymously reached out to pay for strangers' items on layaway at Kmart.
Once I got over the shock that Kmart still exists I decided to get to the bottom of this layaway largesse. After a few calls to local Kmarts, and those specifically mentioned in various media accounts of layaway charity, I have compiled a list of the top 50 items most frequently paid off by generous souls.
50. Hot Wheels Dinosaur Daycare Volcano Stunt Set
49. Halo: Bros
48. Snaboos Wild Fun PlaeBoard
47. The Adirondack - Excelsior Line Male Wig for Women
46. Carton of GPC Cigarettes
45. Skwunchemz Absorbent Pull-up Booty Shapers (12-24 months)
44. Stacks of horrid Taz shirts for fat people
43. One gallon bin of Acme dry-roasted peanut crumbs
42. DPRK 7" 180p Trina Tron Fat Screen TV
41. Mexican-American Girl Doll
40. The Mahogany - Excelsior Line Male Wig for Women
39. 64-pack of Tilda Stain "Remover" Stix
38. $10 Cracker Barrel Gift Card
37. Twilight: Breaking Dawn Soft-pack Beach Coolers
36. Skarim: Mighty Bosstone Man Plus 100 games on a Controller Sonly Wiii
35. Cat Sunglasses and Kerchief Double Pack
34. Jerry Seinfeld Bee Movie on VHS
33. 1984 Too Close for Comfort "Munroe" wall calendar now valid again in 2012 (includes "lost" male rape spread in February)
32. Real Live Sea Muskies (depicted as cartoon monkeys with stink lines, actually a type of bacteria)
31. Hotel Mario Wireless Arcade Controller for the Phillips CDi
Prepare yourself for quite possibly the most effective use of "BOWL" as a sound effect.
Who needs three months of endless summer fun? You have a career!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.