Pros: Brutal axe strength, 2-handed power, overpowering blades can crush lesser blades, skull motif strikes fear into enemy, extra spikes allow for spike attack
Cons: Weighs a lot and is hard to swing, skull falls off when I hit anything, cracks in handle after testing sword against 2x4
Notes: It is said by legend that skulls are the prize of true warriors, but true warrior + skull hunter axe will be sure to have skulls looking elsewhere for a victim. I ONLY use these weapons for self defense and would never "hunt skills" let me be clear about that. But if you set foot on my property I will claim your skull to proclaim the power of my red rule over my kingdom and Xbox games.
Pros: Concealed weapon force foes to underestimate your warrior presence, turn weakness into strength, blend in with your surroundings of normal cane users.
Cons: Cane does not support over 300 pounds.
Notes: Sometimes you are forced to go into a non-sword friendly establishment (recent cracker barrel + best buy policy changes) yet you must be poised at all times and ready to strike. Do not be mistaken, the low intimidation factor of this sword is exactly what you want in a good sword cane. You need to look just like your normal 20-40 year old walking around using a cane that you see every day walking down the streets and in EB games. But be tested and prepare to UNLEASH the punishing force of a 28 inch full tang blade ready to slice and dice foes.
Pros: True to life accurate CSA replica rifle + sword concealed in stock. Deadliness of blade plus intimidation profile of 1861 issue rifled musket. Can drive away intruders from home without firing a shot/slashing viciously into torso or decapitating stroke.
Cons: CSA not Union, big fan of General Lee but opposed to racism of south in civil war, feels strange if intruder was African American especially if circumstance forces me to draw the sword portion and end them.
Notes: Strap thing broke when I swung it too hard and sword falls out if you forget to latch it in place.
Remember that when you confront a foe in your home or office you are authorized by warrior law to unleash full force + power of your technique on any opponent. Do not hold back or attempt to wound. You must assume that your attacker wants to kill you and act accordingly.
Before buying a sword, sword cane, belt sword, strike hat, or other defense tool be sure to check local law or mom if you are at home. And remember, when it comes to eviscerating unlawful intruders, practice makes perfect.
Please consider updating your plan to include Trickle Down Antibiotics, the Millennial Meltdown, and other new options.
The most beautiful woman on all of Facebook is no longer just enchanting your Facebook feed. She's here, y'all!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.