The goats, who never formally established contact with the dogs, will cut off all contact with the outside world. After a year of silence, their golden pyramid colonies will simultaneously begin rising into the sky on pillars of light. The goats understand what the dogs do not: all sentient life on earth will mysteriously disappear. The goats are bound for zeta reticuli in their pyramidal ark-ships.
The dogs are astonished, but soon return to their business of digging in the yards and snacking on bunghole. Dogs have real problems to worry about, like prices and stocks.
Dog industry continues to grow. Dogs have an insatiable hunger for fossil fuels. They hunger for more. And bungholes: each other's and their own. As the population of dogs becomes increasingly urban the number of dog drivers grows dramatically.
Tucker Carlson's idiot brother just called New York mayor Bill de Blasio's spokeswoman a "LabiaFace."
Hey, have you guys ever seen a picture of a cat before? Well, guess what. It’s your lucky day, because I’m mixing the concept of a picture of my cat with the concept of the Internet!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.