The goats, who never formally established contact with the dogs, will cut off all contact with the outside world. After a year of silence, their golden pyramid colonies will simultaneously begin rising into the sky on pillars of light. The goats understand what the dogs do not: all sentient life on earth will mysteriously disappear. The goats are bound for zeta reticuli in their pyramidal ark-ships.
The dogs are astonished, but soon return to their business of digging in the yards and snacking on bunghole. Dogs have real problems to worry about, like prices and stocks.
Dog industry continues to grow. Dogs have an insatiable hunger for fossil fuels. They hunger for more. And bungholes: each other's and their own. As the population of dogs becomes increasingly urban the number of dog drivers grows dramatically.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.