The goats, who never formally established contact with the dogs, will cut off all contact with the outside world. After a year of silence, their golden pyramid colonies will simultaneously begin rising into the sky on pillars of light. The goats understand what the dogs do not: all sentient life on earth will mysteriously disappear. The goats are bound for zeta reticuli in their pyramidal ark-ships.
The dogs are astonished, but soon return to their business of digging in the yards and snacking on bunghole. Dogs have real problems to worry about, like prices and stocks.
Dog industry continues to grow. Dogs have an insatiable hunger for fossil fuels. They hunger for more. And bungholes: each other's and their own. As the population of dogs becomes increasingly urban the number of dog drivers grows dramatically.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.