Long-time SA writer Joseph "maxnmona" Fink is releasing a compilation of short stories entitled "A Commonplace Book of the Weird: The Untold Stories of H.P. Lovecraft." It's based on the ideas dreamed up in H.P. Lovecraft's infamous Commonplace Book. I had the opportunity to contribute one of the stories in the book and I think the project is a lot of fun. If you get a chance, cruise over to our forums and check out the contest maxnmona is holding. You might be featured in future printings of the book!
This book consists of the true actions of the Liberty Patriots during the Lucid Corinthian incident, as well as images, quotations and Biblical names I have memorized to combine with adjectives for future use in my interactive video game stories. I intend to eventually develop all of these into video games, or possibly combine them all into one video game. Their sources are all the same- my mind. Composed by me. Over the last five days.
1 Wizard copies cursed game disc, trapped in quicktime event that never ends.
2 Vampire DARPA
3 Ultimate weapon discovered - Shadow Gear - more powerful than Metal Gear? Virtual reality, consequences.
4 An old soldier is called back to duty, dies, six identical clone brothers take place
5 Man inherits house alerted in night by accursed footsteps, neck snapping in attic - nothing but boxes - boxes alive rearranged by morning
6 Antiquarian of New England purchases antique mirror sees to Outer Heaven where dwells mysterious Shagohod - launch codes in ancient tome
7 DARPA Chief Tabor orders SHADOW DOCTOR to inject WOLFCRY nanomachine virus into ancient wizard RECURSIVE SNAKE while he is undergoing brainwashing at ARSENAL WOLF headquarters to travel through time using majick lenses and eliminate his own father knowing that DECEPTION MEERKAT will pose as his father and die but RECURSIVE SNAKE'S father will see the murder and blame ArmsTech CEO Burt Smith who was fated by prophecy to create DENSITY GEAR, the only countermeasure to Zanzibar Land's reverse-engineered METAL GEAR called LIQUID ICARUS which is only now ready to deploy LATEX NIMBUS superweapon and destroy the WOLFCRY facility allowing DARPA Chief Tabor to finally have a day off work and make it to his daughter's recital in time to hear her play CHOPSTICKS.
8 Deathless spirits older than Egyptian pharaohs somehow related to Ben Franklin and Vietnam
9 Incomprehensible conspiracy, heavy-handed symbolism, 16 hours of unskippable cutscenes - still better writing than NBC's Heroes
10 Peace Fighter - possible three-installment franchise concept
11 Statue of Liberty inhabited by ancient evil - Ghost President - hovercrafts - Gatling guns - Spike Video Game Awards
12 Tuxedo Snake unlocked after 666th mission - wife is gone and so are all her things and the children
13 Man buys parrot demands each level beaten using only sleep gas grenades and knockout blows - fuck that parrot
14 Cursed ration alerts all sentries on catwalk
15 Metal Gear Trig located by Philanthropy upside down at the bottom of a lake
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.