After a stint of unnecessary and unorthodox grave openings, the Sweet Memories Funeral Home and Graveyard of Arkansas posted the above sign, thereby creating the controversial "Justified Openings" program of the stimulus plan.(click for larger version)
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.