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Old Miss Cadwell The Condiment Lady
She lives in the tomato-red house on Hecatomb St. One day she saw me eating a sandwich on my porch and started yelling something or other in Korean or Japanese. The next thing I know she runs over with a jar of mayonnaise and gives it to me. It was like 3/4 full and still a month from expiring. Thought it seemed odd so I tried it again another day and she yelled and then brought me a jar of relish that was mostly empty but still had some left.
I guess just stand outside and eat something and she'll give you free condiments. Pretty good deal.
1353 people found this post helpful.
The Ol' Masked Bandit Routine!!
Simple trick: Get a halloween costume and put it on. You can get a cheap one or just make one out of random clothes. Head to 323 S. Tandy and knock on the door. Yell "trick or treat." The old lady there is super feeble and will slowly wander off and come back a few minutes later with some hard candy or other small items for you. I've gotten a lot of hard candy, some batteries, and a few packets of ketchup. The great thing is it works every time. seriously you can go back as many times as you want, she'll won't remember.
132 people found this post helpful.
High Sea Adventure For FREE
Visit the green house near the end of Bunhe St and knock on the door. If an old lady answers run away. If the old man answers go "Hiya Gus, how's things?" and just sort of push your way past him. Keep the conversation going. It's critical you don't let him get a word in. The keys to his boat are in the bureau in the room at the end of the hall. Tell him you need to borrow the boat and you'll have it back in a jiffy. It's super important you don't run into the old lady. She will yell at you to take off your shoes in the house. I don't remove these size 14 Birkenstocks for nobody, lady!!!
After that you can borrow the boat and go out on a lake or whatever. I do it on the weekends and it's great, except when he forgets to fill the tank up.
33 people found this post helpful.
CHEAP STORAGE!! PRETTY MUCH TOTALLY FREE!
needed a place to store all the awesome stuff ive been getting from oldwallet so i came up with a great system. my neighbor miss carmack on agnew ave lives alone in a big house with 5 bedrooms and a basement. decided i might as well just use her house for storage. she is very sweet and seemed concerned when i asked to store stuff there so i told her i was moving and it would only be temporary and that seemed to ease her mind (she is old so she probably won't remember). anyway the room with the most space was the master bedroom, so i asked if i could use that one. she said she was using it but i told her i would move the furniture to one of the smaller rooms and explained she'd save a ton of money on heating and stuff and then i started moving all her bigass furniture. afterwards i decided to play it safe and changed the locks on the bedroom. there's still 3 bedrooms left plus the basement so feel free to claim some space.
45 people found this post helpful.
All the amazing predictions from The Simpsons that finally came true in 2016.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.