Nearly half of the dogs at this year's All-UK Dog Show found to be small people in dog's outfits. Entire stock of dogs killed just to be sure.
California Diving Championship officials call swimming pool full of sulferic acid "a light hearted prank" but admit that electrocuting survivors "went too far."
Deadly virus released at The Deadly Virus Releasing Festival. Event organizers declare the day a success.
Detroit Rap Festival inexplicably invaded by black people. White rap fans report feelings of "discomfort" and "outrage."
Thanks to Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka and Evan "Pantsfish" Wade for writing some of the jokes. Lowtax wrote the funny ones. Pantsfish wrote the one about kicking people in the nuts.
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the number of quest types from 3 to 2
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.