Nearly half of the dogs at this year's All-UK Dog Show found to be small people in dog's outfits. Entire stock of dogs killed just to be sure.
California Diving Championship officials call swimming pool full of sulferic acid "a light hearted prank" but admit that electrocuting survivors "went too far."
Deadly virus released at The Deadly Virus Releasing Festival. Event organizers declare the day a success.
Detroit Rap Festival inexplicably invaded by black people. White rap fans report feelings of "discomfort" and "outrage."
Thanks to Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka and Evan "Pantsfish" Wade for writing some of the jokes. Lowtax wrote the funny ones. Pantsfish wrote the one about kicking people in the nuts.
The Magic of Toys Will Shut Up Your Child!
Angry and hopeless Trump voters take heart: there is a man who is out for justice for America.
Nightmares Fear Factory is BACK, baby!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.