Nearly half of the dogs at this year's All-UK Dog Show found to be small people in dog's outfits. Entire stock of dogs killed just to be sure.
California Diving Championship officials call swimming pool full of sulferic acid "a light hearted prank" but admit that electrocuting survivors "went too far."
Deadly virus released at The Deadly Virus Releasing Festival. Event organizers declare the day a success.
Detroit Rap Festival inexplicably invaded by black people. White rap fans report feelings of "discomfort" and "outrage."
Thanks to Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka and Evan "Pantsfish" Wade for writing some of the jokes. Lowtax wrote the funny ones. Pantsfish wrote the one about kicking people in the nuts.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.