WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS

- Presidential Candidate John Edwards of the Democratics

- Black Man Presidential Candidate Barack Obama Vegasocratic

- Hillary Climptom Wife President of "BIG VEGAS" BIRR CRINTON


*"egas tonight. Now let's go to MSNBC political director Chuck Todd. Chuck, what is the good word from Washington? Is the effect of Vegas being felt?"*
	"The Clinton campaign won a check mark in their column on Saturday, but it's interesting, the delegate count favors O-
	*"So what happens in Vegas isn't necessarily staying in Vegas? HAAaa!"*
	"Ha ha, well, Chris, both Obama and Clinton have been spin-"
	"HAAaa! Let me ask the beautiful Norah O'Donnell the same question. Norah, you have an extra hole down south, what does that baby chute of yours tell you about the effect of Vegas in the primary?"
	"Chris, if you break down the demographics it-"
	*"Lovely like a little pea, Norah. I want to drink your ass sweat. Chuck, what exactly happened in Vegas? HAAaa! Will it stay there?"*
	"Ha ha, Chr-"
	"Chuck, is Vegas spreading across the map? What is happening now in Vegas? Is it staying in Vegas?"
	"..."
	*"VEGATH."*

Who the Hell is Buying Rolos?
01-26-2015 by Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Sniper Chris Will Make You Cheer and Then Change the Way You Think of America
01-23-2015 by Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons
That atheist professor should have kept his mouth shut around this American Sniper.

Make Sitcoms Worse!
Photoshop Phriday
'Sitcoms are so bad that they couldn't GET any worse haha.' 'Whoa buddy you're wrong... dead wrong!'
Pocket Products!
Awful Things for Sale
Not pocket-SIZED products, but actual pockets for your socks, underwear. Cover your body in pockets!
Cool things to say when you're opening the door for someone
Comedy Goldmine
'Let the building eat you.'

The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.