EXT. - ABOVE GROUND POOLSIDE - Day

PAUL GIAMATTI is fussing in a lounge chair, struggles to find a good position for a tanning screen for his face. It's overcast and he has sunblock on the bridge of his nose. JASON KRAVITS is sitting backwards on a chair facing Paul Giamatti and STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY is lounging with them, looking very comfortable and content.

STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY

I wouldn't worry about it. I have dozens of stalkers.

JASON KRAVITS

(incredulously)

You?

STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY

You wouldn't believe the kind of trim I pulled after Mississippi Burning. They called me the S-train.

PAUL GIAMATTI

You played a klansman.

STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY

Yeah, it was crazy pussy. (turns onto stomach) I'd just pitch her a bone and she'll lay off.

JASON KRAVITS

I'm with Paul on this one. He needs to get a bodyguard. When's the guy coming over?

PAUL GIAMATTI

Any minute. What was that you were talking about earlier?

JASON KRAVITS

I'm starting my own agency. I'm done with acting--

STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY

What will Law & Order do without Attorney #2?

JASON KRAVITS

I'm done with acting and I'm starting up my own agency and I was hoping you would come along.

PAUL GIAMATTI

I don't know. Who else do you have?

JASON KRAVITS

Well...so far...are you familiar with Darkman?

PAUL GIAMATTI

You landed Liam Neeson?

JASON KRAVITS

Not quite, but the guy who played the mob boss is very interested in possibly signing with me.

PAUL GIAMATTI

That's Dr. Giggles.

STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY

Oh, yeah, the retard from LA Law. What has he been up to lately?

JASON KRAVITS

He was in a little something called Star Wars.


STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY

(looking at phone)

He was the voice of Kazdan Paratus in a Star Wars video game. Who the fuck is Kazdan Paratus? You can't even get a gig playing a Darth in a video game your career is pretty much over.

Jason Kravits starts to object, but is interrupted by the gate opening. A MALE VOICE calls up.

MALE VOICE

Hello? Anybody up there? I'm from the security agency. I'm looking for a...Paul Joomatty?

THE BOYS approach the railing of the above ground pool and peer down. OTS REVEAL of a schlubby, balding man who is a dead ringer for Paul Giamatti.

STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY
Nice bodyguard, Saddam.

PAN UP to sun above LA, finally coming out of the clouds. Dazzle fadeout.


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