Refugee Skull Search
Alternative Fuel Craze Called "Running" Sweeps RefugeesCNN - July 30th, 2014
BY Corpse-Eater Crowley
Driving. Convoying. Rape-training. Whatever you call it, America loves its gas-burning vehicles. But these days, with so much pain and murder at the pump, some motorists are abandoning their cars and turning to an alternative fuel source called "running."
"We ran out of gas," said one refugee we talked to. "What else could we do? They had swords welded to the sides of their car. We ran."
"Running" is a lot like walking, but faster, and with yelling and screaming. One expert explained that it works best when you are about to be chopped in half by hubcap knives or caught in a net and sold at a slave auction for jerry cans of water.
Study: Human Skeleton on Hood Decreases Theft Risk AP
Burning Buildings and Smoldering Corpse Piles
New High-Efficiency Homes to Be Heated By Burning HomesMSNBC - July 31st, 2014
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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