Refugee Skull Search
Alternative Fuel Craze Called "Running" Sweeps RefugeesCNN - July 30th, 2014
BY Corpse-Eater Crowley
Driving. Convoying. Rape-training. Whatever you call it, America loves its gas-burning vehicles. But these days, with so much pain and murder at the pump, some motorists are abandoning their cars and turning to an alternative fuel source called "running."
"We ran out of gas," said one refugee we talked to. "What else could we do? They had swords welded to the sides of their car. We ran."
"Running" is a lot like walking, but faster, and with yelling and screaming. One expert explained that it works best when you are about to be chopped in half by hubcap knives or caught in a net and sold at a slave auction for jerry cans of water.
Study: Human Skeleton on Hood Decreases Theft Risk AP
Burning Buildings and Smoldering Corpse Piles
New High-Efficiency Homes to Be Heated By Burning HomesMSNBC - July 31st, 2014
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.