MILLER: Paz!? But ... I don't understand! We all saw you die!
PAZ: Yes, but I [drowned out by sound of metal gear walking past]
MILLER: Ah, of course.


MILLER: Boss, it looks like Mother Base has been infiltrated by the enemy. What the hell. [stamping angrily on ground] Fucking ... god damn it. Ahhh shit.
TUTORIAL POP-UP: Press [OPTIONS] for more info on infiltrations.


SKULLFACE: Nyeh heh heh! Foolish Snake! You'll never defeat CIPHER!
SNAKE: [wordless, angry facial contortions]


MILLER: I don't trust you, Huey.
HUEY: Well I don't trust YOU, Miller.
OCELOT: Settle down, you two. We don't know who sold us out nine years ago ... it could have been anyone on the base.
MILLER: That's right ... it could have been you. It could have been Huey. It could have been the Boss. It could even have been ... YOU [points at player]


DIAMOND DOGS SOLDIER [after having been repeatedly shot in the face by snake]: Thank you, Boss.


OCELOT: Press [R1] to zoom in on the enemy outpost. See that soldier? Position them in the center of your crosshairs to [MARK] them on your map.
SNAKE: OK
OCELOT [chuckling wryly]: Nice job, Boss. Looks like old age hasn't slowed you down one bit.


MILLER: Boss, if an enemy soldier sees you, they'll be able to discharge a small projectile from their gun, causing you physical harm. Be on the lookout for this.


MILLER: Boss, the R&D team have finished work on an upgraded version of your standard pistol. This fires two bullets at once, making it theoretically twice as powerful. But beware ... it also uses twice as much ammo.
SNAKE: I don't have time for this [noticeable audio cut] Miller, [noticeable audio cut] I work alone [noticeable audio cut] OK


OCELOT: Looks like Zero's gone for good. He should've known three cloned soldiers could never defeat the legendary Boss.
OCELOT [V/O]: But it was worse than I thought ... Zero hadn't stopped at three clones of the Boss ... he stopped at three HUNDRED clones ... that son of a bitch ... and now the Boss has to go fight them one at a time ...


OCELOT: Boss, it looks like you're standing still. Move the [LEFT ANALOG STICK] forwards to walk forwards. But remember, stealth is the key to any successful infiltration. Stop moving the [LEFT ANALOG STICK] if you're about to walk into any enemy soldiers. Stay frosty.


OCELOT: Oh my god, could it be ... no ... ! That's ... a Metal Gear ... !
SNAKE: OK


GHOST OF THE BOSS: Jack, it's me. The ghost of The Boss. I died but I came back as a ghost. Listen very closely, because what I'm about to say to you is going to change everything.
SNAKE: Get off my back [noticeable audio cut] for a change, huh?
GHOST OF THE BOSS: Easy, Snake! I just wanted to tell you some important facts.

Thanks to Palpek for the Photoshops!

– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful