NOTE: Special move (advanced) throw up hands and then slap your hands on your legs then shake your head.
To be used: During politics talk, discussion about serious political issue. If someone say vote.
What to expect: “I see. I was thinking one way, but you’re right. The real solution is to do that thing you said about the government stay out.”
To be used: WATERCOOLER, easy setting.
What to expect: “Yes I like the video adam samperg he sang a song.”
To be used: WATERCOOLER, medium setting.
What to expect: “No I was watching a different show I’m sorry. Tell me about what he said though.”
NOTE: If you like a team and so does a man then give him a five with your hand.
To be used: WATERCOOLER, hard setting.
What to expect: “I love football! Is it that time again? I love it. I would give up my wife and my beautiful baby girl for a ticket to football.”
To be used: During a sexual harasser.
What to expect: “Ha ha (laughing) this is a good thing you done. I like my lady part in a discussion. Here I take off this shirt and you see more things.”
To be used: When you are let go cuz the company took a dump.
What to expect: “You’re right our profits are down and our margins are dowjones, but you are too valuable. I want you to stay. I don’t have much room but you can put a little desk in my drawer of my desk and I can get you a chair made out of matches and a seed bell.”
To be used: Boss think you a bird.
What to expect: “You sure?? No, okay, I get it. You can have a full size chair but you have to work from your lap.”
To be used: Never, dumbo. Birds don’t read a book. How could you even be?
What to expect: “Pretty bird. Who a pretty bird? Pretty pretty bird. Who a pretty bird? It’s you! You a pretty bird. You a pretty bird!” Because you are a bird WTF??
If you are the CNBC or Fox business channel I am promoting my book 101 workplace useful phraces or whatever. I can also be an expert on the following subject so I can comment on: Obama, welfare, bailouts, high risk mortgagers, guiltiness, Phantom May, Robotech, Gundam, Transofmrers, any other robot show pretty much except gobots which were for poors. I am told I also have a twitters and a fadesbook???
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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