“Politics, who need it!? I nonpartisem. I just want government Aleve business alone. Stay out of my pocketbook.”
 

NOTE: Special move (advanced) throw up hands and then slap your hands on your legs then shake your head.
To be used: During politics talk, discussion about serious political issue. If someone say vote.
What to expect: “I see. I was thinking one way, but you’re right. The real solution is to do that thing you said about the government stay out.”


“Did you see Saturnday show? It was hilarious.”


To be used: WATERCOOLER, easy setting.
What to expect: “Yes I like the video adam samperg he sang a song.”


“Did you see cramer on business cnbc mad money?”


To be used: WATERCOOLER, medium setting.
What to expect: “No I was watching a different show I’m sorry. Tell me about what he said though.”


“FOOTBALL GAME HAPPEN!”


NOTE: If you like a team and so does a man then give him a five with your hand.


To be used: WATERCOOLER, hard setting.
What to expect: “I love football! Is it that time again? I love it. I would give up my wife and my beautiful baby girl for a ticket to football.”


“Look at her body part. It’s huge!”


To be used: During a sexual harasser.
What to expect: “Ha ha (laughing) this is a good thing you done. I like my lady part in a discussion. Here I take off this shirt and you see more things.”


“I cant afford to lose this job. How dare you do this to my family. I gave everything to your company.”


To be used: When you are let go cuz the company took a dump.
What to expect: “You’re right our profits are down and our margins are dowjones, but you are too valuable. I want you to stay. I don’t have much room but you can put a little desk in my drawer of my desk and I can get you a chair made out of matches and a seed bell.”


“I’m not a bird!”


To be used: Boss think you a bird.
What to expect: “You sure?? No, okay, I get it. You can have a full size chair but you have to work from your lap.”


“I am a bird.”


To be used: Never, dumbo. Birds don’t read a book. How could you even be?
What to expect: “Pretty bird. Who a pretty bird? Pretty pretty bird. Who a pretty bird? It’s you! You a pretty bird. You a pretty bird!” Because you are a bird WTF??


If you are the CNBC or Fox business channel I am promoting my book 101 workplace useful phraces or whatever. I can also be an expert on the following subject so I can comment on: Obama, welfare, bailouts, high risk mortgagers, guiltiness, Phantom May, Robotech, Gundam, Transofmrers, any other robot show pretty much except gobots which were for poors. I am told I also have a twitters and a fadesbook???

– Tom Champion, Business Writer (@sexyfacts4u)

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