Current job: Unemployed/The Mormon guy
Favorite Beatle: George
What kind of name is Mitt: It’s a pretty funny name.
Reasons to vote for Mitt Romney:
Current job: Congressman/Ross Perot 2: Why Do These Guys Always Have Big Ears?
Cows have: 4 stomachs
Number of Google results for "'Ron Paul' 'fucking lunatic'": 327
Reasons to vote for Ron Paul:
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.