Amazon's Prime video service boasts a library of over 30,000 tv shows and movies. That sure does sound impressive, but for every Green Room or season of Hannibal there are a thousand YouTube-ish Minecraft ASMR Lego reviews. These are the Prime videos that will never appear on the splash page with Sneaky Pete.

Of the thirty thousand videos on Amazon Prime, seven hundred are variations on this one. I am not kidding.

If there's one thing I know about ghosts, it's that they're very possessive.

Computer, show me a video that demonstrates why Prime is worth the subscription. Show me something I can't see anywhere else.

No, computer, I think you misunderstood. I want something exclusive and original. Run another search.

Some people express their patriotism through their actions. Some express it with shirts. I prefer to desperately grip the sides of my monitor for eight hours as this blasts at full volume.

Is this virtual reality? NOW I see why everyone's so excited!

Sconces? Show me something more interesting.

LESS INTERESTING! LESS INTERESTING PLEASE!

Don't freak out, but I think we're trapped in your aunt's Facebook page.

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)

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