Wha- Officer Gus Stoppo? What are you doing here so late? How did you get in?
When Proposition 43 is passed, locks on doors will be a thing of the past. This will help us cull the guilty from the innocent without having to resort to drawn-out legal formalities.
That sounds fun, but my parents said that they weren't gonna vote for Proposition 43.
|Oh, poo. Don't you hate your parents?|
I sure do. I hate them almost as much as I love roller skating and baseball caps.
Well, Billy, if Proposition 43 passes, you'll get removed from your parents and get to live on a camp with a bunch of other little boys. Now doesn't that sound fun?
Boy, does it ever! It sounds almost as fun as that cartoon all the kids are watching these days!
And when you're 15, you get to go to other countries - with a gun! It'll just be like living in one of your damned video games!
Gee whiz, sign me up!
Say, will I ever get to see my parents again?
Thanks to the Web 2.0 Internet Rights Act brought into US law by Senator Grip Oswald, people with self-diagnosed social disorders can finally vote from the comfort of the Internet. No longer will they have to tolerate soiled curtains and the mindless chatter of plebes who know nothing of their guild's success and Mountain Dew sponsorship.
Please sign me up for Proposition 43. I have read the preceding materials and have decided that this is the best course for my future. Being of sound mind, I choose the Football Phone as part of my one-time-only offer.
I am a complete and utter moron and I hereby sacrifice my right to vote. It will be hence be given to someone that supports Proposition 43 and is in dire need of a Football Phone. I fully realize that when you are king I may be first against the wall.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.