What does it do?
It's a "mood enhancer" it's a "sex diesel injection" and it's a "100%" sure fire way to get a woman to fall for you. Love or lust or whatever is in between those too, man. This is liquid panty-dropper. Technically legal. I will also give you techniques in an ebook guide with the potion on how to suggest it to her, how to get her to drink it, how to convince her that it is safe, and various other how to techniques that will help everyone chill out, you don't need to call the cops, it's just like a vodka orange juice basically.
Romance Potion #69 will turn any woman into a horned up sex slut ready to get it on with your johnson. BE CAREFUL once you use the eyedropper to put no more than two drops in her drink or on her tongue if she is asleep you will have five minutes before SEXUAL TNT explodes.
This will work on your moms. So don't play around. Crowd fund this stuff now. You know you have to have some.
One taste and every woman you have ever desired will be so into you she will get right into your van and agree to go into sex cages int he cellar of your second house that isn't even on your records, you paid cash, so the FBI agents will never find where you hid them.
Note to Haters
While 99% of the emails and messages I receive are positive there are always some haters who don't get what I am trying to do and make some baseless accusations about me being sexist, or creepy, or dangerous and insane. All you haters need to get over your jealousy. Just because I am extremely successful with women and have 100% ability at quenching my libido doesn't give you the right to be jealous.
I want to help you. Not hate back. You could be living like me. Yesterday I put body paint on a girl I barely knew. I made out with both girls who work at Arby's. I drive a BMW. Yes, it's from 1993. Yes, it still counts. Ask all the beautiful women I am having sex with in it every day that I want to.
It's time to face facts. You need Romance Potion #69 to up your game. Back me now, bro. Let's do this together.
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
Even the most fervent gun control advocate would admit that guns kill people, not other guns. We must become the guns we wish to see in the world.
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.