Bronwyn is a gift from JESUS. My largest eel Torrence just died from being stuck wrongways in his play tube and I was down in the dumps. When I saw Bronwyn wriggling out of a deer carcass I knew we were made to be together. It was friends at first sight and we have been together ever since.
Sad to say, Bronwyn has KIDNEY AND LIVER FLUKES which cause her many dietary needs and expulsion issues. She eats spoilt meat but it must be cooked then spoilt. She does not like cooked meat so you have to put it in her gullet with a tube. Hwhenever I do this she is very fussy, but she is the PRETTIEST.
With Bronwyn around you'll always have somehwone to talk to and listen to you. She is a good listener. Never hunderestimate that.
CALL 888-UHADOPT NOW FOR BRONWYN!
Here is a strange hwone. Donahue is a creature of incompare. I have never seen a creature like him before or any other creature in a book. He is very polite and concerned. He loves to play with ropes and sings at night. Quite a unique friend for you.
You must be concerned about the quality of his home. He likes to dig and burrow to make a hole. He will do this on you when you are sleeping and you will wake up to a fearsome pain. He is only the size of an acorn but he feels like a meteor!! Donahue also has mood swings and is quick to get frustrated. He needs to be encouraged and he needs love. Can you give it to him?
CALL 888-UHADOPT NOW FOR DONAHUE!
Hokay! I have hwone last special friend for you to hadopt! This is a very special friend of mine. He and I have been together for almost 10 years now and we are best friends. I love him so very much. But he is too much for me to take care of and I need to find a good place for him to live.
Here is a hint:
Have you figured it out? I talk about him all the time in my newsletter. Friends, ladies, it's...
Precious sweet baby Peanut, love of my life. He is big, but he is gentle. We first met in a dark forest. He eats dead animals (never live animals) and bugs. Now he is BIG BIG and I have to fill his face with crickets every hour. I do not know about Peanut. Is he a dinosaur? Could be.
Parting with Peanut will be a big sadness in my life. I have many happy memories with him. The time he opened the refrigerator and ate all of the glass and got sick. The times we go to the beach and he turns over rocks with his head. The time he was first big enough to give me a ride.
I hope whoever hadopts Peanut will make new memories with him. He is trustworthy and bold. He will make a perfect friend. I love you, sweet baby Peanut.
CALL 888-UHADOPT NOW FOR PEANUT!
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.