Summary: As the domestic dispute continues, Sue enters the fray as John spirits away the tabloid magazine to his room. McBeef tries to defend himself, but Sue's little "pooey pooey boy" (puipui being Korean for "honorable one whose tongue speaks not of poison") gives a rebuttal. Incensed by this, Sue removes her shoes (as probably was customary during her strict upbringing) and hits McBeef while barefoot. Richard brushes her face gently with a mossy forearm (followed by the rest of his body) in an attempt to calm his wife down.
This page of Richard McBeef is a fine example of melodrama! Melodrama emphasizes the conflict of pure good and pure evil characters. In this example of melodrama, we are supposed to sympathize with John and Sue against Richard McBeef, a supposed murderer and child molester. But don't you think this is a gray area? I do! What if Richard McBeef killed in self-defense and also molested his step-son in self-defense? These are all possible situations. In fact, I can think of many, many situations where these are the only solutions - but just try explaining that to the police while you're being handcuffed in a filthy Arby's bathroom. All I know is it's because of these beliefs that I can never serve jury duty again!
Summary: McBeef tries to work up a defense, but he only digs himself deeper and deeper. As he follows Sue through the house, she begins to throw objects at him. Plates, wrenches, unnamed heavy items; nothing can escape her throwing spree. It is on this page the reader first begins to doubt the sanity of Sue. Why would she marry a man but a month after the death of her husband, especially a man who she believes is capable of molesting his son? Or is she in on the deaths of John Lennon and Marylin Monroe? Perhaps she is blackmailing Richard McBeef to escape a similar fate? Seung-Hui lays out the puzzle pieces, but we must assemble them ourselves.
Are you perhaps familiar with the term Sturm und Drang? These are three German words that, when placed together, mean something literary! I should know; I read it in a book once! I think it has something to do with storm windows and Draino: a deadly combination! But I'm pretty sure there's a ton of that on this very page. It's kind of like that scene in Independence Day when they blow up the White House and you're like "Yeeeahhh, yeeeahhh, I'm pumped!" And then Randy Quaid flies a crop duster into the mothership and you can't fucking believe it! Or that scene in Othello when Iago and Jafar get sucked into the magic lamp. This is just like that!
In a Something Awful exclusive, we reveal the true state of Darren Wilson after his harrowing encounter with Michael Brown.
gee, sun, thanks for life and warmth and light. you totally did it on purpose and aren't just a stupid exploding deathtrap
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