Midwest Rodeo wants to thank you and your father for attending the rodeo last night. We believe the show was one of our best, and we hope you agree. Sorry for the mishap with the bleachers. The thin aluminum was obviously not strong enough to support your stone body. Our medical crew was quick to your rescue, and though you seemed out of it for a few minutes, you recovered very quickly. After you left, your father remained and ended up winning a free t-shirt in a raffle. If you decided to visit the hospital after leaving our facility, please understand that we are not responsible for any bills. To make it up for you, here are three tickets for the monster truck rally. Please notice that they are handicap tickets, so you can stand on the ground.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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