Midwest Rodeo wants to thank you and your father for attending the rodeo last night. We believe the show was one of our best, and we hope you agree. Sorry for the mishap with the bleachers. The thin aluminum was obviously not strong enough to support your stone body. Our medical crew was quick to your rescue, and though you seemed out of it for a few minutes, you recovered very quickly. After you left, your father remained and ended up winning a free t-shirt in a raffle. If you decided to visit the hospital after leaving our facility, please understand that we are not responsible for any bills. To make it up for you, here are three tickets for the monster truck rally. Please notice that they are handicap tickets, so you can stand on the ground.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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