I'm A Heap of Trash
I'm feeling about as vastly uncreative as I possibly can right now, and all my attempts at writing resemble even more of a train wreck than usual. I'm a merciful person, so I'll spare you all the hard-boiled pain eggs of a bad update where I talk about robots like some common lout with an overwhelmingly unhealthy fixation on Mechanized Americans. There, I just turned this situation sunny side up instead of scrambling your nerves. Sorry for all the talk about eggs, I know I must be one omelet you just want to throw away like yesterday's children or a poached rat.
Ask Her Questions, Damn You!
Emily "Interceptor Drone #468" Reigel is back with another round of her famous game of questions-answers. Why here is an example!
I'm a member of the Army Reserve, and my unit is being called up to go fight in some place with a lot of letters in it's name, and where Nintendo is not just uncommon, but nearly non-existent! Also, there is a chance that I may get a hot lead injection while strutting about in that Godless land. I was wondering, what's the best way for me to avoid being on the business end of some dude's powerful, flaming assault weapon.
If I were you I'd adopt a rule for your conduct over yonder that would ensure your personal safety to the best of my ability. This rule would basically state that in any situation wherein there were people of any other than American persuasion even within vague proximity to myself, I would shoot them.
Good golly, talk of murder! If you wish to see more adventures in the deep, murky depths of the human psyche please go jam a spoon into your skull. But if you want to read questions and then see the very questions you just read get answered, follow this link.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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