Dear Internet Reader,
We have done it! The ultimate good-times 90's-into-2000s band Smash Mouth has set a date, and you are cordially invited to watch Smash Mouth frontman Steve Harwell stuff his face full of eggs. Please conveiene on October 10th, 2011 sometime around high Noon just outside Johnny Garlic's in Dublin, CA, because Steve will be eating the eggs at 1:30 sharp right there, that afternoon. He'll be fulfilling his promise of eating 24 eggs, just as we had asked him to that summer's eve long ago. We'll be there that afternoon to relish in the fact that Steve Harwell's Egg-Stuffed Face earned well over $11,000 for a supremely worthy charity.
It turns out that the same day and place the Egg Challenge is to occur-- it's also the grand opening of Guy Fieri's new restaurant, so after the egg-eating is complete, we'll all wander over to the Applebee's (or other accommodating, similarly-capable restaurant) in the same shopping center area so as to not accidentally interrupt the non-ironic purchase any food or drink from Guy Fieri's newly-opened establishment.
(Jokes aside, an enormous "thank you" is in order to everyone who opened your wallet to not only help some very special children in dire need of something important, but to give to young medical patients who might benefit, too.)
Oh, and by the way, for all Bay Area readers: the Dublin BART station is very close to this Egg Arena! Don't be shy, everyone should come! Bring Grandma! Worst case scenario is you bring your whole family and have to wait outside while a grown man eats too many eggs. Not too shabby!
Can't make it physically? Watch the Egg Challenge online on October 10 at the link below:
And if you're not so keen on watching a grown man vomit eggs but still interested in helping St. Jude's Children's Hospital (seriously, they do a huge amount of good), please give here:
Genuinely, thank you all who helped this cause from the bottom of my heart.
Now after this is over, let us never speak of this again.
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2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
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