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Decline in Wild Dog Attacks in 2009 Credited to Rise in Mortar Attacks

Garbage Worker Strike Enters 460th Week Over Unsatisfied Demands for "Any Pay Whatsoever"

Return of Roads? Experts Say Collapsing Buildings May Be Solution to Pot Holes

"No Chalks, No Peace!" Mob Forms to Demand More Helicopter Crashes

Militia Warns Not to Trust Mysterious Ambulance Van: "There is No Hospital"



Transitional Federal Assembly Votes to Add "God Help Us" to Pledge of Allegiance

Civil Liberties Threatened: Press Freedoms Curtailed By Machete Death of All Reporters

Voters Head to the Pole to Cast Stones Deciding Fate of Accused Adulterer Tied to Pole

Police: Are They A Real Thing?

Controversial Mosque Refuses to Allow Islamic Militia to Fire Mortars From Courtyard


Hawiye Clan Threatens to Destroy Dir Clan Following Misunderstanding Over Parking Permits

Digil-Mirifle Clan May Expand Use of Gris-gris in 2010 if Bullets Keep Striking Clan Members

Dir Clan Promises Jobs to All Grave Diggers Throughout the Land in Wake of Upcoming "Total Massacre" of Hawiye Clan

Darod Clan Leaders Sign "Contract With Somalia": Lower Taxes, Better Wine to All Child Soldiers

Main Street Stunners Clan Disbands Following No More Bullets Scandal



German Ships: Why Do They Have a Secret Room? Gay?

Ukrainian Ship Full of Tanks Supplying Civil War Diverted By Hero Fishermen to Different, More Noble Civil War

Simple Hero Fishermen Killed by European Task Force Were Beloved By Village, "They Just Wanted What We All Want: More Child Wives"

Al Qaeda Death Squad Confronts Hero Fishermen Over Violation of Islamic Law, Refusal to Die to Death Squad

USA Dogs Cheer in Streets at Death of Hero Fishermen, Would Burn Somali Flag if One Officially Existed


Lindsay Lohan Violates Probation Terms, Tweets of Wanton Haraamness, May Not Be Stoned to Death

Editorial: USA Needs to Stop Inventing Painful Ray Guns to Put on Container Ships

Environment: Are We Approaching Era of Peak AK-47 Bullets? What Will Post-AK-47 Bullet World Look Like?

Quran Burned By Fatso in New York, Why Don't You Come to Mogadishu And Do That Bitch Fucker?

China to Increase Investment in African Holes Full of Natural Resources

Internet Computer Coming Soon to Congo

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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