This article is part of the Foreign News Aggregators series.
Decline in Wild Dog Attacks in 2009 Credited to Rise in Mortar Attacks
Garbage Worker Strike Enters 460th Week Over Unsatisfied Demands for "Any Pay Whatsoever"
Return of Roads? Experts Say Collapsing Buildings May Be Solution to Pot Holes
"No Chalks, No Peace!" Mob Forms to Demand More Helicopter CrashesMilitia Warns Not to Trust Mysterious Ambulance Van: "There is No Hospital"
Transitional Federal Assembly Votes to Add "God Help Us" to Pledge of Allegiance
Civil Liberties Threatened: Press Freedoms Curtailed By Machete Death of All Reporters
Voters Head to the Pole to Cast Stones Deciding Fate of Accused Adulterer Tied to Pole
Police: Are They A Real Thing?
Controversial Mosque Refuses to Allow Islamic Militia to Fire Mortars From Courtyard
Hawiye Clan Threatens to Destroy Dir Clan Following Misunderstanding Over Parking Permits
Digil-Mirifle Clan May Expand Use of Gris-gris in 2010 if Bullets Keep Striking Clan Members
Dir Clan Promises Jobs to All Grave Diggers Throughout the Land in Wake of Upcoming "Total Massacre" of Hawiye Clan
Darod Clan Leaders Sign "Contract With Somalia": Lower Taxes, Better Wine to All Child Soldiers
Main Street Stunners Clan Disbands Following No More Bullets Scandal
German Ships: Why Do They Have a Secret Room? Gay?
Ukrainian Ship Full of Tanks Supplying Civil War Diverted By Hero Fishermen to Different, More Noble Civil War
Simple Hero Fishermen Killed by European Task Force Were Beloved By Village, "They Just Wanted What We All Want: More Child Wives"
Al Qaeda Death Squad Confronts Hero Fishermen Over Violation of Islamic Law, Refusal to Die to Death Squad
USA Dogs Cheer in Streets at Death of Hero Fishermen, Would Burn Somali Flag if One Officially Existed
Lindsay Lohan Violates Probation Terms, Tweets of Wanton Haraamness, May Not Be Stoned to Death
Editorial: USA Needs to Stop Inventing Painful Ray Guns to Put on Container Ships
Environment: Are We Approaching Era of Peak AK-47 Bullets? What Will Post-AK-47 Bullet World Look Like?
Quran Burned By Fatso in New York, Why Don't You Come to Mogadishu And Do That Bitch Fucker?
China to Increase Investment in African Holes Full of Natural Resources
Internet Computer Coming Soon to Congo
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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