HURTWELL was a simple, peaceful boy from the rural Shugo prefecture of Kentucky, America. His father was a moonshiner of liquors, and his mother a seamsman. HURTWELL was trained by the master ORIGINAL RICK, and he used his powers of fighting only for protection and romance, until one day his parents were kidnapped by the evil EMPEROR SHOZO. From that day forth, HURTWELL knew his destiny would be to win the MASTER OF CHAMPION FIGHTING TOURNAMENT and secure the freedom of his parents and world!
BLOOD TYPE: R
FIGHTING TECHNIQUE: AMERICA BRAWL
|Rick's Original Famous Punch|
|Chops of Jupiter|
|+||Flying Chiropractic Subluxator|
|Damage Prevention Elbow|
|+||John Mayall's Bluesbreaker|
|Classic False Frisbee Throw Dog Fakeout|
|+||Tearful Neck Snap of Mercy|
|+||Get Your Brother To Do This One|
Special thanks to Abraham, DocEvil & Greg P. for difficult control input.
Rock legend David Bowie has changed his identity with almost every album. Can you remember all these classic Bowie characters?
Tucker Carlson's idiot brother just called New York mayor Bill de Blasio's spokeswoman a "LabiaFace."
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.