HURTWELL was a simple, peaceful boy from the rural Shugo prefecture of Kentucky, America. His father was a moonshiner of liquors, and his mother a seamsman. HURTWELL was trained by the master ORIGINAL RICK, and he used his powers of fighting only for protection and romance, until one day his parents were kidnapped by the evil EMPEROR SHOZO. From that day forth, HURTWELL knew his destiny would be to win the MASTER OF CHAMPION FIGHTING TOURNAMENT and secure the freedom of his parents and world!
BLOOD TYPE: R
FIGHTING TECHNIQUE: AMERICA BRAWL
|Rick's Original Famous Punch|
|Chops of Jupiter|
|+||Flying Chiropractic Subluxator|
|Damage Prevention Elbow|
|+||John Mayall's Bluesbreaker|
|Classic False Frisbee Throw Dog Fakeout|
|+||Tearful Neck Snap of Mercy|
|+||Get Your Brother To Do This One|
Special thanks to Abraham, DocEvil & Greg P. for difficult control input.
Ariana Grande? No way! Here's a podcast that looks squarely at Ariana Grande and says, ‘No way!’
TECHNICALLY A DOG - I have expertly subdivided a horse to create what is, scientifically speaking, a dog. I have done this 10 times before and plan to keep doing it forever!!! $400. 555-2466
The water got bigger? my sand castle was destroyed and we had to move. Who did this?
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.