Welcome to Spoiler Alerts, a new series where we make up movie spoilers to chase that precious, precious SEO. Speaking of which: "Star Wars The Force Awakens Spoilers Major Spoilers True Spoilers Kylo Ren Dies Han Solo Dies Jar Jar Binks Feet Luke Skywalker Princess Leia Wincest." Sorry about that =) Let's get started!
The fifth phase of the week is upon us. Shops close, bars open, and we are free from the Bosses once more. But They Who Were Before Time await our tribute...
Hungry? Try looking around for a little something called ASTRONAUT FOOD. Or you can hold out until you get to Pluto and look for some berries... if you want to starve to death!
We'd like to thank Mr. Elba for taking the time to make this possible.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.