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Believe it or not, I actually invented the alphabet song (a b c etc.) back in mid-February of 2000. I came up with the song as i was repeating the alphabet over and over without making a single mistake, and i decided I'd invent a silly little tune to go along with it. Then of course the Internet got a hold of it and things went absolutely insane, with everyone making alphabet song remixes, mashups, and tributes, but my identity as the creator was lost pretty early on. A shame but what can you do lol. I also invented the Twinkle Twinkle Little Star song (It was night-time when i came up with it... need I say more...?)
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Here's a joke I came up with: Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he ate his food before it was cool. I came up with this joke after seeing a dumb guy trying to eat hot food and hurting his lips and tongue. Later I realised that if the dumb guy was a hipster, I could write down what happened as a sentence that meant two things.
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I invented the phrase "let's blow this popsicle stand' after seeing a tv broadcast of the 9/11 terror attacks, although the phrase has changed slightly since its inception.
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i invented lightbulbs. Not the bulbs themselves, the concept of using them for a purpose. before me people would walk into their houses, look at their light fixtures, and say "What the fuck are these glass eggs on the ceiling. Dont like it"
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a skate board thgat can hover
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I invented the concept of bad stuff [stuff being bad, stuff that isn't good, etc] back in '99. Not going to lie - this one may have been a misstep. Sorry about that.
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I invented making fun of Alanis Morrisette's "Ironic" a few years before that song was written or recorded. I'd say stuff like "rain on your wedding day isn't ironic" and people would reply by saying stuff like "What". Of course, after the song was released, everyone started doing it. I just think it would be nice to get the credit that's due.

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remember how in 90s sci-fi tv shows there was always an episode where everyone suddenly became horny for some reason? me
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Back in about... I associate this with summer so it would have been around June '06? I came up with saying the letter "D" to mean "penis". i was in the middle of singing the popular internet meme "alphabet song" when i realised how sick it would be if all the letters meant stuff about sex and fucking. Popular though this idea was, it has proven relatively difficult to monetize.
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one night in the late 90s i had a terrible nightmare. i woke up in a cold sweat and quickly wrote down my dream in a bedside notebook before falling into a blessedly dreamless sleep. Later, as I was transcribing my dream journal into my bullshit late 90s blog, I accidentally pasted the contents of the nightmare into a C++ IDE. I was shocked to discover that my dream compiled perfectly. My horror dream is still in use today - you might know it as Adobe Photoshop.
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During my brief tenure at nintendo I collaborated with Shigeru Miyamoto to create a Famicom game where the player controlled a red-and-blue clad carpenter across a scrolling orange stage, navigating platforms and collecting bright green emeralds on the way to save a princess. Over time this game developed into - you guessed it - Hatred
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One day at a restaurant, I noticed a man attempting to eat a spaghetti dinner with only his hands. He kept picking up individual spaghettis and burning his hands and dropping the spaghetti. His fingers were blistered and covered with sauce and he kept making pained grunts like "Ehhhhn. Uehhn." If only he had some way of eating multiple spaghetti strands at once, without needing to touch the pasta directly - some kind of multi-pronged metal utensil. Later at home, I had a burst of inspiration, and invented what many consider to be my most popular creation - the commonly used insult "weak ass jabroni spaghetti touching motherfucker"
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– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)

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