i. Table of Contents
ii. Version History
iii. Legal Stuff
[SBB1] Tan Level Walkthrough
[SBB1.a] The story Begins!
[SBB1.b] Parent's House
[SBB1.d] Advanced Tricks
- Added Tips on Defeating Skateboarding Jerks (Thanks SummerSaiyan95!!!)
- Now Accepting Donations
- Corrected some spelling issues that people complained about
- Ladies and Gentlemen, the FAQ is done!
- Walkthrough *almost* completed through August tips & Tricks
- Baseball Rules FAQ is finished
- Expect another update very very soon!
The words in this FAQ are copyrighted. Do not claim as your own or else youll meet super sever penalties. Do not tell people that you made these Summer Beach Bod techniques because I will know. Feel free to message me. I will not accept spam or hate mail. I will also delete any emails that are not coherent so don't use l33t internet speak or chatroom shortened words!
-=The Story Begins!=-
Yiou wake up one morning and want hard abs and tanned skin and bass guitar lessons all those things Dream Woman wants. You climb out of bed and look around room. You put on [SHOES], [COMMON CLOTHES], [HEMP NECKLACE] and leave. There is a long journey ahead of you but it starts here and now. Probably one of the most imprtant parts of Summer Beach Bod (SBB) is your Tan Lvl. Not leveling Tan up early means a harder time later on! So lets get started and stop by our first stop! You;re parents house!
Try and show up when parents are asleep or working soy ou don't have to talk to them and slow down your quest. Examine each room carefully, searching all dressers and cabinets. Move quietly as there is a chance you might encounter the dumb dog. It looks cute and nice but ittotally does *not* replace the one you grew up with and should not be petted or anything. Ingore it. In the bathroom you will fi nd [TOWEL] and if your lucky maybe [SUN LOTION]. If you cant find [SUN LOTION] check the kitchen for [OLIVE OIL]. It has lower stats and feels sort of weird but will not cause you to fail mission or lose any Tan LVL. Be sure to grab [SUMMER SNACK] in kitchen to keep health high while Tan Leveling. SPOILER ALERT: Do not eat too much munchies for reasons related to future SLIM QUEST. Once you've collected enough loot and stored it in your inventory, take off to the nearest park.
Okay you cannot restart after entering park so double chec kyour items!
Quest Item Summary: [COMMON CLOTHES], [TOWEL], [SUMMER SNACK], [SHOES], [SUN LOTION] or [OLIVE OIL], [HEMP NECKLACE]
============================] Proceed when ready! [================================
Equip everything in your inventory and enter the park at the (<). Park is really dangerous place. There are enemy Homeless camps, roving Skateboarding Jerk clans, and even Poison Ivy. Be sure to save often!!! From the entrance there are four options for you to travel. To the right is the pond (@). There are sometimes a lot of Dream Woman there walking dogs. The dogs aren't as cool as the one you had growing up, but theyare sort of cool. Good place to remember, but not helpful for this quest! (S) is the statue of dead guy. Skateboarding Jerks spawn here so best to avoid until your stats are higher. In the left is a quiet place for you to channel your skill. If your perception is high enough, scout the area for any nearby enemies. If you encounter a Homeless, remain calm because there usually low leveled. Try bartering some [SUMMER SNACKS].
Once cleared, unequip [TOWEL] onto ground and remove [COMMON CLOTHES] and [SHOES] until you are wearing Basic Underwear. You've lowered your defense to zero at this point so any fight will turn out bad. Unfortunately it is a must for leveling Tan. Just be careful.
Once comfortable use [OLIVE OIL] on exposed skin. Avoid eyes. It seems weird but you are gathering Sun Pieces every second you are motionless. For every 100 Sun Pieces you collect, you gain one Tan Level. If you managed to find [NOTE FROM DAD] read it to keep boredom level low. Spoiler: He loves you. Remember to eat remaining [SUMMER SNACK] if Health gets too low. Pop Machines can be found in park at $ for emergency dispensed [COLD POP] is both delicious and restores vital energy. Sometimes Skateboarding Jerks venture to those areas, so keep hidden in bushes.
When you feel like your Tan LVL is high enough, fast travel to your room an dsave. Awesome work. The first leg of your journey is complete~!!!
These tips are totally not meant for beginning Beach Bodders and should be skipped by only the most hardcore.
*Remove any and all body hair prior to beginning quest, allowing you to collect more Sun Pieces and the ability to slide through narrow gaps.
*Try discarding Basic Underwear. This allows whole body to level up Tan faster. This also turns all people into enemies. Do not attempt in crowded areas or nea rplaygrounds!
*Letting a Skateboarding Jerk defeat you will allow you to tan without being conscience. Sacrificing health for boredom levels.
That's it for this quest!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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