Wrapping myself up in old dirty newspapers. Hesitant about buying a clean thing to put on my ass and groin.
Whoa, unconventional stepdad move from out of nowhere.
I love Beat Up Girlfriend Man and wish he was my bf...
Whatever wets your bed, buddy.
#bieberfacts 1441: Haters is the code word for Cool Guys Who Do Funny Things I Guess
Don't wanna just drop some trendy words for the sake of sounding trendy, buuuuut I'm a genderfluid antitheist colorblind polyamor with a cleft palate
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
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