Wrapping myself up in old dirty newspapers. Hesitant about buying a clean thing to put on my ass and groin.
Whoa, unconventional stepdad move from out of nowhere.
I love Beat Up Girlfriend Man and wish he was my bf...
Whatever wets your bed, buddy.
#bieberfacts 1441: Haters is the code word for Cool Guys Who Do Funny Things I Guess
Don't wanna just drop some trendy words for the sake of sounding trendy, buuuuut I'm a genderfluid antitheist colorblind polyamor with a cleft palate
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
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