@KenJennings - This infinite-time Jeopardy! champ isn't just beauty-- he's got the brains for jokes, too!
@jakefogelnest - Radio, TV, and podcast hero, not to mention level 69 music and pop culture wizard.
@BESTPORNCOMMENT - An ongoing collection of comments posted on porn videos. No more watching all those icky nude bodies to get to the good stuff.
@TriciaLockwood - Some of the sharpest wit you can find on a computer. And poetry, too!
@ChuckGrassley - Regardless of your politics, it's pretty enjoyable how completely inept Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa is at Twitter.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.