@dogboner - Not only is he hilarious with an uncanny knack for commentary, word on the street is dogboner keeps a real good ass. Real clean and good lookin'.
@degg - Deg is a goat. He loves asses, dicks, pits, boobs, sex, sexboobs, sex tits, and loads.
@CoolAssMarvin - Marvin's level-headed and good-values-havin' ass is cool as hell, follow him.
@J_Chastain - Author of tweets that can take you across space and time and then right back before you knew what you were thinking about.
@the_ironsheik - Wrestling legend turned Twitter legend, Sheiky Baby continues to remind us: Fuck Hulk Hogan.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.