@MaryKoCo - Real-ass tweets from the cold, black heart of Los Angeles. Her human side comes out sometimes when there's donuts involved.
@iamcolinquinn - Colin Quinn does a fine job of endlessly trolling practically everyone, and then retweeting those who get upset. Always fantastic.
@woodmuffin - "Puns-N-Buns" is what we call him for his excellent puns and excellent buns.
@6thgrade4ever - Genuinely high-quality tweets and nothing but come out of this guy's brain. Who is he? No idea. But he's great.
@DrPeterThraft - This sex doctor whose tips are less than usual and had suffered a heart attack earlier this year is either probably fake or dead, but he's still worth following because he's that good.
@UtilityLimb - Formerly known as "the bi bandit" (no idea why he changed it), follow this guy and lots of surreal stories encapsulated in 140 characters will be your reward... when/if he returns from his self-imposed pre-tweet-666 exile.
Nightwatch Brigade Insignia: Awarded for hiding in a coat closet and watching God's Not Dead, God's Not Dead 2, and Last Man Standing on a 1980s-era portable tv every night instead of sleeping
Why you honk and how it’s misinterpreted.
If you think Hitler was good, you've got another thing coming.
These tips are guaranteed to work. Nearly every time.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.