@MaryKoCo - Real-ass tweets from the cold, black heart of Los Angeles. Her human side comes out sometimes when there's donuts involved.
@iamcolinquinn - Colin Quinn does a fine job of endlessly trolling practically everyone, and then retweeting those who get upset. Always fantastic.
@woodmuffin - "Puns-N-Buns" is what we call him for his excellent puns and excellent buns.
@6thgrade4ever - Genuinely high-quality tweets and nothing but come out of this guy's brain. Who is he? No idea. But he's great.
@DrPeterThraft - This sex doctor whose tips are less than usual and had suffered a heart attack earlier this year is either probably fake or dead, but he's still worth following because he's that good.
@UtilityLimb - Formerly known as "the bi bandit" (no idea why he changed it), follow this guy and lots of surreal stories encapsulated in 140 characters will be your reward... when/if he returns from his self-imposed pre-tweet-666 exile.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
That atheist professor should have kept his mouth shut around this American Sniper.
'Let the building eat you.'
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.