I don't care what your personal politics are, just as I hope you don't care what mine are. In fact, since the election here in my United States just recently ended, I'm actually pretty wildly tired of hearing about politics or thinking about it in any way. For the foreseeable future, I will hate everything about politics with every possible ounce of my being.
However, as little as I care about how some folks will now mope and kick trash around, or celebrate by dancing and kicking trash around, one thing I do appreciate is the whining of others. Thankfully, with the Internet the way it is these days (I think we're at Web 4.0 or 4.2 by now), we have more or less an indirect line to enjoying the misery of other people whenever anything ever happens. Yours truly spent election night not out campaigning for a particular cause or candidate, or ferrying voters to or from the polls-- I sat at home and waited for results to begin pouring in so that I could find out what other people, and especially their dads, thought. Here's what happened:
If Romney loses I'm going to Freak the Fuck Out!.....And burn down my house and smash all my toys in the garage !— Kenny Edwards (@rocketman168) November 6, 2012
I'm going to be honest with you guys: I'm probably going to cry if Romney loses. Why? Because I will have lost hope in America.— Billy Pell (@billhoss_) November 5, 2012
My dad is crying because he's nervous Barack will win. I hate all y'all who voted for Obama you're making my poor dad cry #fuckyou— Haley Cohenour (@HaleyCoh3) November 7, 2012
You know it's sad when your mom is crying while she's praying with you because she's afraid Obama will win. #Election2012— andreaaaaaa(: (@dancerandrea) November 7, 2012
My dad cried during Pokemon— Nick Pahl (@TheRealNickPahl) November 6, 2012
and if Obama wins, I'm going to chop my dick off— Tom Palmieri (@thomas_palmieri) November 7, 2012
MY DAD IS CRYING— ITS CHELS. hi :)x (@Cali_1D_swag) November 7, 2012
My dad is crying again. My mom is yelling.— SexyGirraffes (@_BeLLyBuTTon) November 7, 2012
My dad has punched the wall after CNN's projection...— Michaela Moriarty(@MichaelaaAnn) November 7, 2012
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.