Haunt the contours of the m3991do. Allow your raw emotional intent to communicate your operational desire to the Bubble. Consult table 1-1 and the enclosed color wheel to determine operating parameters and engage systems based on the hue of your vulnerability.

Once you have engaged the device you must carefully monitor all Bubble systems. The action fulcrum may enter PAT panic if you allow the Particle Attractor Tower to arouse any Farook-Heinrich mesons. If this occurs you must immediately attach the optional sprayer head to the coolant line B3 and hose down the particle attractor until the F-H mesons detach and return to their owner emitters.

Visualize success. Visualizing failure can antagonize the possibility matrix and force it into parallel outcomes denial mode and a full system lock. Once you have read this instruction you must completely forget it or you will become obsessed with visualizing failure and you will visualize a full system lock caused by the possibility matrix.

Clear any ice that forms around the froyo cuff.

Enjoy froyo. Berries for healthy topping, peanut chocos for a little guilty pleasure.

DO NOT experience guilt. The possibility matrix is calibrated to detect the slightest amount of guilt and initiate a full system stop and criticality reversal. Try to experience pride for a job well done, especially if you experience a system failure.

Activate full power mode with your hand by pressing the button marked "Full Power Mode."

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.