Oh no! The big day is here, and if you're anything like me, you're pretty sure the card selection at the nearest store is picked clean and you're too angry or lazy to go out and look anyway!
Don't worry, friend. If you've got a printer, I've got you covered with some backup cards, and your partner will never know the difference. That's not to say these cards are the very best cards in the world, nor are they even great cards or acceptable for you to even spend time looking at, but you're sweating right now, aren't you? Look at the clock. Time's running short and you've been playing fast and loose a little too long. Swallow your pride and print a card, hotshot.
Each of the small thumbnails below is the interior of a card. Click one and it'll take you to a full-size image that you can print (stretch to fit the page, idiot), fold along the dotted lines, and proceed to throw your Hail Mary for love. Here's what the front of each card looks like:
And here are the interiors you can select from. Choose the one that's right for your babe!
Good luck! I believe in you!
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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