I shall not bother introducing myself, as you are all undoubtedly familiar with my name. Due to recent schedule conflicts and a lack of sufficient funds, I have unfortunately neglected satisfying my sinister half. Additionally, I believe a crippling case of writer's block has infected my work, and I find myself doubting the quality of my creations.
As a result, I call for your feedback and opinions as I reveal my latest trap. The backstory: while purchasing smoked salmon at the Piggly Wiggly in Albertville, I noticed a man hoarding vast quantities of broccoli. I silently observed him for the subsequent six months, and each day he ate at least one bunch of broccoli.
My goal is to force this man to face the brutal reality he has been avoiding for years. I have built an entire apartment complex which looks exactly like the one he lives in, except once you enter, your body is immediately trapped in a tight plexiglass box. Then a television turns on and there's a VHS tape of my dummy riding a tricycle or sitting in a wading pool and my voice comes on and says:
"You are a man who tries in vain to satiate your appetite with broccoli. You do not merely like broccoli... you LOVE it. And if you love broccoli so much... WHY DON'T YOU MARRY IT?"
Then I force the man to marry a piece broccoli or else his head will explode (the TV explodes). What is the quickest and cheapest way for me to become an ordained minister?
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