We're all familiar with prestigious accolades like The Emmys, The Oscars, and The Blockbuster Music Awards, but did you know doing stuff on the Internet can yield similarly priceless trophies and medals? Yes, it's true. Yet, in 15 years of writing for the web, I've utterly failed to win a single award that's just as valid as the more popular ones and not at all designed to prop up a rapidly dying medium. At the risk of burning some very important bridges, allow me to share my list of the awards that I should have received for my unique talents, but didn't.
Nightwatch Brigade Insignia: Awarded for hiding in a coat closet and watching God's Not Dead, God's Not Dead 2, and Last Man Standing on a 1980s-era portable tv every night instead of sleeping
Why you honk and how it’s misinterpreted.
If you think Hitler was good, you've got another thing coming.
These tips are guaranteed to work. Nearly every time.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.