Wendy Show>Archive>2009>October>10/01/09-10/15/09>

October 1st

Wendy complained about socks being boring and said everyone should wear pink and blue socks. She threw pink and blue Wendy socks out to audience members. Wendy welcomed Deborah Kierney, from Whale Lies, Nebraska. Deborah knitted the world's longest scarf. Plus, Brody Jenner from The Hills stopped by to talk about his cat, Biscuit. Wendy noted that cats are mammalian quadrupeds.

October 2nd

Wendy observed the location of Ganymede and noted the sudden appearance of high albedo sands within two kilometers of the Andjeti crater do not suggest thermal vitrification. Her completely plausible explanation of the luminosity change in Ganymede's surface was the presence of moisture in NASA lens apertures, probably introduced during crude USA construction process of orbital telescope. Project Runway's Tim Gunn stopped in to discuss psoriasis and his visit to Meat Farm. Tim donned a pair of pink and blue Wendy socks to the delight of the crowd. Plus, Wendy's Movie Gang pick of the week was Calibrating Your DVD Player, which Wendy described as her all time favorite DVD information disc.

October 5th

Over the weekend Wendy grew a horn from her wrist. She willed it to happen and it happened after reading The Secret. When Sal mixed up the cue-cards she whispered to him for several minutes and then gave him a trip to Meat Farm to relax. Pictures were shown from Meat Farm's Apple Days. Dr. Drew Pinsky stopped by to talk about sex addiction. Wendy said she was addicted to shopping. The crowd experienced pleasure at this comment. Plus, playback of radio transmissions from the 1980s that are bouncing back to earth from Star C-4223.

October 6th

Wendy didn't know what a fork was and had to have it described to her by an audience member. Wendy explained that where she is from eating is done through the face. Wendy welcomed Axia Venture who is able to enter a trance and see the future. Wendy tested her precognition ability and found that she was unable to predict the events of November 1st as they will unfold. Wendy's friend Samantha gave a report from Meat Farm where things are even better than they were. Wendy did not believe it, but Meat Farm is better than ever. Everyone wants to go to Meat Farm in the audience, but Wendy only has Wendy Show socks to hand out.

October 7th

It's Wendysday! Wendy brought in some of her favorite things to give out as gifts to the audience. Her favorite bag (made by Taurus Industrial can carry 100 kilograms of coal) was filled with gifts including Wendy Socks, Meat Grow brand meat grower potion to lengthen and volumize your meat, a rubber sphere for children, Dr. Drew Pinsky's book, a cat photograph, hair objects for lady purposes, and an Opticron from Wendy's private collection of farsight devices and time lenses. Plus, Australian human Alex O'Loughlin stopped by from Three Rivers and the Moonlight blood eater program. He does not eat blood. Alex was a fun guest and will attend Meat Farm Deep Diner Day next week.

October 8th

Wendy talked sports. She enjoyed a football performance over the weekend. She admitted that she doesn't understand the rules, but appreciates the collision of viscera and tenderizing of the hard meats. Meat Moms Dana, Sheryl, and Turvil stopped by to discuss their flesh and their blood. Getting into healthy was the rule and a demonstration was made of flexions and torsions to strengthen and flavor meat. Plus, Jenna Elfman from Accidentally on Purpose was in the studio to talk about the gestating organism within her body and her desire for it to prosper once voided from her loins.

October 9th

Transmission occluded by Jupiter. The Cream Slide episode was replayed.

October 12th

Wendy began the show by introducing a number of creams which can soften tissues with minimal pain. These creams were suggested by master Flesh Beauty expert LOREONE so they are certain to be non-harmful and contain no anaesthetizing drug. Unexpected cancellations mean more vacancies at Meat Farm and Wendy introduced the Meat Lotto. Eight lucky audience members were given prize packages of all of LOREONE's flesh tantalizing sprays and gels and sent to Meat Farm on a bus. Plus, Chris Kattan was in the studio exposing his teeth in a manner misunderstood by Wendy as animal hostility.

October 13th

A wasp was in the studio and Wendy was distracted by the threat of its venom. She explained a story that as a child she was slain by a wasp sting. After the commercial break she explained that of course this story was a joke, because once slain a human body does no resurrect itself, therefore she was never stung to death by a wasp. Also the wasp was displayed in a jar that seemed empty. Wendy said it had been reduced to its component atoms and wiped her finger through dust in the bottom of the jar. Kristen Bell visited the studio to explain her film Couples Retreat. She failed.

October 14th

It's Wendysday! Wendy took time to explain why her studio seems so small from the outside and yet is very large on the inside, dispelling wild rumors and speculation from her competitors in Oprah and US Air Force. Patricia Heaton of Everybody Loves Raymond and The Middle stopped by to help Wendy give out her Wendysday gifts to the audience. Patricia sported the new pink and blue Wendy Show leather cowl and hood and Wendy Show socks, both of which were included in the gift to audience members. Also in the gift basket were Eye Juicer from LOREONE, Meat Exerciser Machine from Chuck Norris Meat Man, Wendy's favorite element cesium, and tickets to next week's Meat Farm Beef Creature Rodeo.

October 15th

Wendy brought in a human physical doctor named Dr. Surville. Wendy was interested in a discussion of the process of human respiration and compared human lungs to invertebrate book lungs. Wendy stated she learned that humans cannot take oxygen from water and she thanked Dr. Surville with a trip to Meat Farm. Joel McHale stopped by to talk about his new show Community and what it means to form a community. Wendy was interested in the parallels between the TV show Community and the human social organism's ability to resist external influences. Wendy wondered if the Pheromone Emitting Alpha of Community was subverted by an outsider if the Community would willingly align itself to a new and superior purpose. Joel McHale believed advanced human nervous systems allowed them to choose their own destiny. Wendy disagreed at length citing extensive experimentation on lobes.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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