I am turning into gas now. My legs first. Will I ever turn back into a man? What happens now? Will I still be alive or will I be nothing but gas? Goodbye.
It is hard to accept that everything I wanted in life is gone, but I am now a fart.
|Fume Wizzard reeked:|
You're no fart. It is just what is next for us. We'll be okay.
Everyone on TV is gone. Some channels are pre-recorded, reminding me of what existed before this. My body feels hot. I hope this doesn't hurt and if it does hurt it is fast.
I will dissolve into smoke cursing your stench, Barack Hussein Obama.
I am really scared. I don't know what to do.
It started. My shoe fell off. It doesn't hurt. Will we need to eat something? What can we eat? I hope my mom is there. Weird though, I'm not afraid. Just curious.
This is it! Go time! I'll build a whole new world as a gas master. Cars and planes will be useless, but I will make a vacuum pump to convey us through our cities of gas. I have a vision. I've been ready for this for my whole life. Ready. I can feel it starting now! Like carbonation in my veins. Got to finish this before my hands go, but I wanted to say: see ya on the other side!
I will miss movies and pizza most, but we will all be equal as gas. I'm not afraid. I'm ready too. I hope we turn into one big, smelly cloud and come out in the rain and are water men too.
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.