A dog realizes that someday it will die.
Every animated GIF on the internet starts playing backwards.
The game NBA Jam disappears. You're the only one who remembers it existed.
Everyone walking down the street thinks that everyone else will move out of their way.
Jim Cramer hits a giant red button but nothing happens.
OkCupid's matching algorithm becomes self-aware.
A fire destroys the world's largest collection of Garfield fan art.
Black helicopters are spotted over several Sizzler restaurants.
Weezer release their long-shelved concept album about Yu-Gi-Oh!
The president's teleprompter shows the lyrics to Tyga's "Rack City."
The law of physics that keeps tube tops up stops working.
The CIA's Kill List and Do Not Kill List get mixed up.
Hi and Lois get divorced.
Someone else takes the "Yolo Von Swaggasaurus" Myspace name you were going to register.
The bitcoin economy crashes.
Woman's World runs out of belly fat cures.
Bikers stop signaling turns.
NBC cancels the Saved by the Bell: The New Class reunion.
A kitten does something cute but no one records it.
The monster truck drivers' union goes on strike.
NSA agents read your My Little Pony forum PMs.
Hackers release nude selfies of Larry the Cable Guy.
A rich man watches someone die on a TV screen and laughs.
Gwar return to outer space.
You meet the guy or girl of your dreams but he or she doesn't like ska.
Every parrot starts singing Puddle of Mudd songs.
Clowns realize that we're laughing at, not with them.
Skateboarding becomes a crime.
Dissatisfied Star Wars fans have taken the women out of the Last Jedi with a new fan edit. They won't stop there.
The fifth phase of the week is upon us. Shops close, bars open, and we are free from the Bosses once more. But They Who Were Before Time await our tribute...
We'd like to thank Mr. Elba for taking the time to make this possible.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.