Have you wondered, "What's happening to all the white people?" You're not alone. The world's white people, once prized for everything from the bikini to rocketry, are in serious jeopardy. White populations have been growing at a disproportionately slow rate. In countries like the United States of America, it sometimes seems like a hundred minorities are born to every white person.
Not only that, but every minority has a slew of organizations, charities, lobbying groups, and businesses catering specifically to their needs. Affirmative action, the NAACP, the DREAM Act; when is it White People's turn?
Thanks to the White People Project, more whites than ever are enjoying the freedom to live their lives and raise their children exactly how they choose.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.