Tommy Lee Jones is an ex-CIA agent eluding a hitman while trying to get a secret cassette tape to government man Bubba Smith. He leaves it in a concept car called the Black Moon, which is stolen by Linda Hamilton and handed over to a car thievery ring. Sound plausible. But less plausible is the Black Moon itself, which has the curb appeal of a Trapper Keeper packing rocket engines that allow it to drive 300 miles per hour. Topping the 80s factor in this would require a movie about beating the Soviets by doing donuts in a DeLorean around a cube of tube TVs playing Superbowl Shuffle.
Thanks Initial Dave for gleaming the cube on this one.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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