THE PAGE OF SHAME
Well hello there ladies and gentlemen! I bid you welcome to another crap roundup. It was entirely logical that this week's robot-powered challenge would prove too great for some people. Not everyone approaches the topic of robots with reckless fervor and wild abandon. Instead most people just approach it reckless, which means lots of sloppy work and big headaches for me, because I take this stuff way too damn seriously. I'll have my revenge sooner or later. By convenient fate, very soon, as in the gigantic table right below.
Why it stinks: Well, obviously agile young Beefnog did not have the mental capacity to figure out that this image looked like the result of two planets crashing together. I guess I shouldn't say that, since a picture of a celestial event such as that would probably look totally awesome. This is more along the lines of two overweight mentally handicapped people crashing into each other with rare cosmic force, smashing together so hard that they become permanently conjoined and therefore twice as retarded. Beefnog, when posting this image on the forums, uttered the epic controversial battle cry of "I'm going to hell", signaling that this image is edgy and extreme. Why is it edgy? Because it has Jesus in the background. I'm in no position to condemn a fellow human to Hell, but I wouldn't wish you on any afterlife, unless there was one specifically designed for bad Photoshoppers. Some kind of fancy place where your intestines are cut out of your body and then pasted to your face over and over again, I suppose. I should get back on track and bash this image. What the hell is it? Is there some secret "Jetsons" theological joke I'm too dense to get, or am I 100% justified in assuming that Beefnog is some kind of goofball who has no idea what he's doing? I really don't care at this point. The damage is done.
Crapometer Score: -4/-10 (WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?)
Crapometer Score: -5/-10 (Poor attempt at a bad idea)
Crapometer Score: -7/-10 (UGH!!!)
Crapometer Score: -10/-10 (I'LL FLY A PLANE INTO YOU!)
Crapometer Score: -10/-10 (DIE!)
Well, I'm done. I hope you had a fun and jolly time as always. Feel free to show up next week when we Photoshop my webcam suicide pictures. Adios, suckers!
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
Photoshop Phriday showcases the tremendous image manipulation talents of the Something Awful Forum Goons. Each week they tackle a new theme, parodying movies, video games, comics, history, and anything else you can think of. If you want in on the action, join us on the Something Awful Forums!