THE PAGE OF SHAME
Although I really don't like doing these here Pages of Shame, I feel it's sometimes necessary to let people know that quality matters in this ongoing game we call life. That's why this week I'm mocking some of what I feel were the worst images submitted. As a special treat, I'm joined by my best friend in the whole wide world, Chili.gif. Please enjoy this magical journey exploring the depths of wasted effort and terrible comedy!
Chili.gif says:"You've blasphemed sacred Mecca and I will heat up your infidel blood until magma flows from your urethra!"
Reason for being a colossal failure: BananaNutkins goes a long way for a joke that's just plain stupid. I think there's something here, what with the kid missing a hand, "Meccacola" and the comment about stealing, but I'm not here to assemble clues and solve mysteries. I'm here to be entertained, and BananaNutkins is entertaining me about as much as a political debate between a dialyses machine and a dead parakeet. On second thought, he's not entertaining me anywhere near that much.
Chili.gif says:"Yo whatup this chili and im representin tlc and we dont want NO scrubs "
Reason for being a colossal failure: this isn't necessarily that bad, but I'm tired of "Will and Grace" getting used as a punch line for everything, which has happened far too much recently. The fact that there's so much visual information crammed into this picture like genitals in a gangbang doesn't help either. Go easy on my eyes, cowboy, they aren't as used to being raped as you are.
Chili.gif says:"Someone better put a cover over this ugly mess, because I'm about to turn red with anger, girlfriend!"
Reason for being a colossal failure: even after looking at this picture for far too long, I still have no idea what I'm supposed to be seeing. Visually, HybridMoment demonstrates that he put no effort into thinking about whether people could read or even figure out what the hell was going on. I guess this has something to do with covering up ugly babies, but it took about a year off my life just to figure that out. I think this is what advertising looks like in Hell, and thusly I will now dedicate my life to the cause of good so that I never have to see pictures like this again.
Chili.gif says:"I'm gonna ride your intestines like a fat bitch. You ain't ever had a spice like me."
Reason for being a colossal failure: if there is one thing that irks my aged bones of evil more than anything, it's unnecessarily sloppy work. A picture like this could carry a lot more weight if the author spent more than five minutes whipping out obvious observations about a popular, overdone target. Non-aliased text, blurry pictures, and poor cutting and pasting are entirely preventable without much in the way of added effort. If you don't know what you're doing in Photoshop, please keep the results to yourself because I have more important things to do than look at your visual refuse, good sir!
Chili.gif says:"You ain't no saint, but you is a bastard like nobody's business!"
Reason for being a colossal failure: this picture is just mentally retarded. I'm sad to say, but SaintBastard is about as funny as a bad case of waking up and finding out a hobo is raping your face. That's not an actual medical disorder, I know, but that's how I felt after viewing this picture.
ONE MORE PAGE! ONE MORE PAGE!
This is your typical consumer model throne. If you just want a cheap prop, it's fine. If you want to actually sit like a king, pony up the cash and get yourself a prosumer model. This entry level stuff is more for a duke or baron at best.
Do you wish to know what computers will be doing in the year to come? With a sigh I shall exert the minimal effort it takes to reveal all. Feel free to print out these predictions and share them with your friends via fax.
Photoshop Phriday showcases the tremendous image manipulation talents of the Something Awful Forum Goons. Each week they tackle a new theme, parodying movies, video games, comics, history, and anything else you can think of. If you want in on the action, join us on the Something Awful Forums!