Sun, 12 Feb 2012 07:00:00 +0000 Something Awful reviews the latest films in a straightforward (for SA) manner. http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/index.php en-us radium@somethingawful.com webmaster@somethingawful.com http://i.somethingawful.com/core/sa_logo_144.png http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/index.php 144 42 ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/safe-house-vow.php No-one is safe, except for you. Safe from bad movies that is, thanks to our life-saving reviews. Sun, 12 Feb 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/safe-house-vow.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/chronicle-journey-2.php We're spanning the genres this week. Sun, 05 Feb 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/chronicle-journey-2.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/grey-man-ledge.php In the wake of the Oscar nominations, the full spectrum of film quality is right here for you. Sun, 29 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/grey-man-ledge.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/underworld-awakening-haywire.php There are a lot of films in here and, thankfully, not all of them are crap. Sun, 22 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/underworld-awakening-haywire.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/joyful-noise-contraband.php This week is the calm before the storm. Sun, 15 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/joyful-noise-contraband.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/iron-lady-goon.php The Iron Lady refers to Margaret Thatcher but Goon does not refer to SA forum members. Sun, 08 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/iron-lady-goon.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/best-movies-2011.php A year in review, perfectly timed. Sun, 01 Jan 2012 04:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/best-movies-2011.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/mission-impossible-protocol.php Time to dump a whole bunch of movies into cinemas before the year ends. Wed, 28 Dec 2011 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/mission-impossible-protocol.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/game-shadows-chipwrecked.php You'd be smug too if you were Sherlock Holmes. Sun, 18 Dec 2011 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/game-shadows-chipwrecked.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/new-years-sitter.php Brace yourself. This isn't going to be easy. Sun, 11 Dec 2011 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/new-years-sitter.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/life-day-kinkade.php When life gives you no movies, do what the Romans do or something, I don't know. Wed, 07 Dec 2011 06:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/life-day-kinkade.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/muppets-hugo-marilyn.php It's time to click on this link, it's time to read reviews... Sun, 27 Nov 2011 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/muppets-hugo-marilyn.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/twilight-breaking-dawn.php We are ready to take your hate mail now. Sun, 20 Nov 2011 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/twilight-breaking-dawn.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/immortals-jedgar-trespass.php Almost another week of bitter disappointments, if not for the late addition of crazy people preparing for a storm. Sun, 13 Nov 2011 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/immortals-jedgar-trespass.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/tower-heist.php Don't bother, they're all crap. Sun, 06 Nov 2011 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/tower-heist.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/adventures-tintin.php The adventures of ageless, drunken conspirators and their talking cats. Sun, 30 Oct 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/adventures-tintin.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/paranormal-activity-musketeers.php This week's Current Releases is brought to you by the number 3! Sun, 23 Oct 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/paranormal-activity-musketeers.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/footloose-thing-guard.php If you see someone with loose feet, they may be The Thing in disguise. Sun, 16 Oct 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/footloose-thing-guard.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/real-steel.php In the future, all films will be reviewed by robots. Sat, 08 Oct 2011 12:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/real-steel.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/whats-your-number.php Take note: sleep with too many people and you will never be happy. Sun, 02 Oct 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/whats-your-number.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/moneyball-abduction-killer.php Brad Pitt and Taylor Lautner may be handsome , but they can't kick ass like Jason Statham. Sun, 25 Sep 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/moneyball-abduction-killer.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/drive-straw-dogs.php Not a hard decision to make this week. Sun, 18 Sep 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/drive-straw-dogs.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/contagion-warrior.php Warning: Risk of Contagion and/or Punching! Sun, 11 Sep 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/contagion-warrior.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights, Esq.) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/apollo18-shark-night.php The real reason we never went back to the moon is because we learned we could fake it for much cheaper. Wed, 07 Sep 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/apollo18-shark-night.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/spy-kids-dark.php Take a shot every time I say Jeremy Piven. Good times guaranteed! Sun, 28 Aug 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/spy-kids-dark.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/conan-barbarian.php Remakes aren't always bad. They're not always good either, though. Wed, 24 Aug 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/conan-barbarian.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/devils-double.php That man isn't really made of gold, it's a visual metaphor. Just go with it. Sun, 14 Aug 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/devils-double.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/rise-planet-apes.php These apes will one day evolve to the level of Jason Bateman. Think about that. Sun, 07 Aug 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/rise-planet-apes.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/cowboys-aliens-smurfs.php It's another week full of alien invasions. Smurfs count as aliens too, right? Sun, 31 Jul 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/cowboys-aliens-smurfs.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/captain-america.php Both of these films are good? The world has gone crazy! Wed, 27 Jul 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/captain-america.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/deathly-hallows-part2.php It's that time again, for the last time ever. Sun, 17 Jul 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/deathly-hallows-part2.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/zookeeper-horrible-bosses.php A menagerie of talking animals, disgruntled employees and mature students. Sun, 10 Jul 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/zookeeper-horrible-bosses.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/transformers-dark-moon.php Big bangs or The Big Bang? Your choice. Sun, 03 Jul 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/transformers-dark-moon.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/cars2-bad-teacher.php Cars, poor education and self-obsessed white people. This is America! Sun, 26 Jun 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/cars2-bad-teacher.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/green-lantern-penguins.php No evil movies shall escape our sight! Sun, 19 Jun 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/green-lantern-penguins.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Super Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/super-8.php Films for kids, about kids... but, thankfully not by kids. Sun, 12 Jun 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/super-8.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/x-first-class.php In celebration of the release of X-Men: First Class, we review every X-Men film to date. Sun, 05 Jun 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/x-first-class.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/hangover-part-ii.php Sequels, who needs 'em? Sun, 29 May 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/hangover-part-ii.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/pirates-stranger-tides.php I hope you like boring films. Sun, 22 May 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/pirates-stranger-tides.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/bridesmaids-greatest-story.php More wedding related films, interspersed with product placement. This is what cinema is all about. Sun, 15 May 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/bridesmaids-greatest-story.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/priest-something-borrowed.php Three films with a tenuous connection; they go together like priests and weddings. Sun, 08 May 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/priest-something-borrowed.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/thor-fast-five.php Six movies to choose from, only four wrong choices. Good luck! Sun, 01 May 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/thor-fast-five.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/pooh-hobo-shotgun.php An adorable bear competes against an armed hobo. Will those elephants ever get their water? Sun, 24 Apr 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/pooh-hobo-shotgun.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/scream-atlas-shrugged.php It's been eleven years, must be time for another sequel. Sun, 17 Apr 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/scream-atlas-shrugged.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/rio-your-highness.php Who can resist those horrifically enormous eyes? Sun, 10 Apr 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/rio-your-highness.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/hop-source-code.php More talking animals. At least we get some interesting movies as well this week. Sun, 03 Apr 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/hop-source-code.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/sucker-punch.php A lovely combination of fetishised sexual frustration and middle school social frustration. How frustrating! Sun, 27 Mar 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/sucker-punch.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/paul-limitless-lincoln.php Friendly aliens, super-drugs and shirted McConaugheys ahoy. Sun, 20 Mar 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/paul-limitless-lincoln.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/battle-los-angeles.php Alien invasions are the flavour of the month. Sun, 13 Mar 2011 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/battle-los-angeles.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/rango-beastly-adjustment.php These movies run the gamut all the way from great to terrible. Sun, 06 Mar 2011 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/rango-beastly-adjustment.php