Sun, 16 Jun 2013 06:00:00 +0000 Something Awful reviews the latest films in a straightforward (for SA) manner. http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/index.php en-us radium@somethingawful.com webmaster@somethingawful.com http://i.somethingawful.com/core/sa_logo_144.png http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/index.php 144 42 ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/man-of-steel.php Is it a bird? Is it a pla- ...wait, we already did this joke. Sun, 16 Jun 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/man-of-steel.php seanhanson@gmail.com (Sean "Keanu Grieves" Hanson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/internship-vhs2-iceman.php Keep digging, we're about to hit cinema gold! Sun, 09 Jun 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/internship-vhs2-iceman.php seanhanson@gmail.com (Sean "Keanu Grieves" Hanson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/after-earth-purge.php How are those Smith boys gonna get out of this mess? Sun, 02 Jun 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/after-earth-purge.php martinrschneid@gmail.com (Martin "Vargo" Schneider) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/hangover-part-epic.php Yeah, that look of horror says it all. Sun, 26 May 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/hangover-part-epic.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/fast-furious-peeples.php The backs of bald men and other exciting images await inside. Sun, 19 May 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/fast-furious-peeples.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/star-trek-darkness.php Have you ever Star Trekked Into Darkness? Thought not. Sun, 12 May 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/star-trek-darkness.php martinrschneid@gmail.com (Martin "Vargo" Schneider) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/big-wedding.php Is Robert De Niro crying or laughing there? Only one way to find out... Sun, 05 May 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/big-wedding.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/iron-man-3.php Joy of joys, they made another one. Sun, 28 Apr 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/iron-man-3.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/oblivion-42.php This week, Current Releases takes a look back at basically everything. Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/oblivion-42.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/evil-dead.php They're evil... they're dead... and therefore no threat to you. Sun, 07 Apr 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/evil-dead.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/gi-joe-retaliation.php Why not recreate The Rock's head with a boiled egg this Easter weekend? It's fun for all the family. Sun, 31 Mar 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/gi-joe-retaliation.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/spring-breakers-croods.php Spring Break, bitches! Sun, 24 Mar 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/spring-breakers-croods.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/incredible-burt-wonderstone.php Like we'd believe any magic trick from someone with such terrible hair plugs. Sun, 17 Mar 2013 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/incredible-burt-wonderstone.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/oz-great-powerful.php Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Sun, 10 Mar 2013 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/oz-great-powerful.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/jack-giant-slayer.php He's a slayer of giants, not a slayer who is giant. Sun, 03 Mar 2013 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/jack-giant-slayer.php frontalotsa@gmail.com (Sean "bad movie knight" Hanson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/dark-skies.php The adventures of Horror Dad. Sun, 24 Feb 2013 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/dark-skies.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/good-day-die.php Ah, what a lovely day to die hard. Sun, 17 Feb 2013 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/good-day-die.php martinrschneid@gmail.com (Martin "Vargo" Schneider) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/side-effects-crawlspace.php Warning: may cause dizziness, nausea and reading film reviews. Sun, 10 Feb 2013 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/side-effects-crawlspace.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/bullet-head.php Can Walter Hill rekindle the flame of his old successes? Sun, 03 Feb 2013 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/bullet-head.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/movie43-hansel-gretel.php It happened. They finally made the worst movie. Sun, 27 Jan 2013 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/movie43-hansel-gretel.php martinrschneid@gmail.com (Martin "Vargo" Schneider) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/last-stand.php He's back again... Sun, 20 Jan 2013 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/last-stand.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/gangster-squad.php Gangsters beware! There's a squad against you now. Sun, 13 Jan 2013 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/gangster-squad.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/impossible-texas-chainsaw.php It's the bad week to end all bad weeks. Must be awards season. Sun, 06 Jan 2013 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/impossible-texas-chainsaw.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/miserables-django-reacher.php 2012 sure was a bleak year. Sun, 30 Dec 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/miserables-django-reacher.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/hobbit-unexpected-journey.php Let's face it; as journeys go, this one is very much expected. Sun, 16 Dec 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/hobbit-unexpected-journey.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/holymotors-gift-guide.php Stuck for that last minute gift? We can help! Sun, 09 Dec 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/holymotors-gift-guide.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/life-pi.php A boy and his tiger go to sea, adventures abound. Sun, 02 Dec 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/life-pi.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/silver-linings-playbook.php Mentally ill people need love too. Sun, 25 Nov 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/silver-linings-playbook.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/breaking-dawn-lincoln.php The conclusion of the greatest love story of our generation... probably. Sun, 18 Nov 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/breaking-dawn-lincoln.php martinrschneid@gmail.com (Martin "Vargo" Schneider) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/flight-philadelphia-festival.php Martin R. "Vargo" Schneider discovers cocaine and is never heard from again. Wed, 14 Nov 2012 13:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/flight-philadelphia-festival.php jaydubsa@gmail.com (Joseph "Jay Dub" Wade) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/wreck-ralph-iron.php Ralph wrecks it, RZA ruins it, Vargo kills it. Sun, 04 Nov 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/wreck-ralph-iron.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/skyfall-cloud-atlas.php James Bond is back and he's making absolutely no sense. Sun, 28 Oct 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/skyfall-cloud-atlas.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/paranormal-activity-cross.php Yeah, we're up to 4. They keep making these. Sun, 21 Oct 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/paranormal-activity-cross.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/sinister-seven-psychopaths.php It's film-within-a-film week apparently. Sun, 14 Oct 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/sinister-seven-psychopaths.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/frankenweenie-taken.php A surprising week, to say the least. Sun, 07 Oct 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/frankenweenie-taken.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/looper.php If Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt had a baby, it would apparently look like a gaunt David Morrissey. Sun, 30 Sep 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/looper.php martinrschneid@gmail.com (Martin "Vargo" Schneider) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/master-hates.php The whimsical adventures of a blue-faced paedophile within! Sun, 23 Sep 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/master-hates.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/cold-light-day.php Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a bunch of movie reviews. Your guesses were way out. Sun, 16 Sep 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/cold-light-day.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/dredd-words-oogieloves.php He's still the law, he's just not as keen on reminding you anymore. Sun, 09 Sep 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/dredd-words-oogieloves.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/lawless-possession.php Shia LaBeouf sometimes spells his name with a Y. Sun, 02 Sep 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/lawless-possession.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/premium-rush.php Bicycles. They're about as exciting in the cinema as they are on the road. Sun, 26 Aug 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/premium-rush.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/expendables2-paranorman.php They're back and they're even older. Sun, 19 Aug 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/expendables2-paranorman.php seanhanson@gmail.com (Sean "Keanu Grieves" Hanson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/bourne-legacy-campaign.php After the reviews, a little special something. It's all in good fun. Sun, 12 Aug 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/bourne-legacy-campaign.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/total-recall.php You think this is the real Quaid? Sun, 05 Aug 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/total-recall.php jaydubsa@gmail.com (Joseph "Jay Dub" Wade) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/watch-step-revolution.php Just keep reminding yourself that Ben Stiller made The Cable Guy and maybe you can forgive him in time. Sun, 29 Jul 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/watch-step-revolution.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/dark-knight-rises.php It's the movie event you've been waiting all year for. Sun, 22 Jul 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/dark-knight-rises.php jaydubsa@gmail.com (Joseph "Jay Dub" Wade) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/ice-age-continental.php Yeah, they did another one of these things. Sun, 15 Jul 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/ice-age-continental.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/spider-man-savages.php For people calling him The Amazing Spider-Man, he sure does love ripping off a bunch of other superhero movies. Is that what counts as amazing these days? Sun, 08 Jul 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/spider-man-savages.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/magic-mike-ted.php Mike is Magic, Ted is a bear, Joe is a Killer and the Favorite is Laid. Sun, 01 Jul 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/magic-mike-ted.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (Ian "Professor Clumsy" Maddison) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/abraham-lincoln-brave.php A bumper crop of films of extremely varied quality. Sun, 24 Jun 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/abraham-lincoln-brave.php