Fri, 09 May 2008 05:00:00 +0000 Something Awful http://www.somethingawful.com/ en-us radium@somethingawful.com webmaster@somethingawful.com http://i.somethingawful.com/core/sa_logo_144.png http://www.somethingawful.com/ 144 42 abraham@somethingawful.com (Caylen "Abraham" Burroughs) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_feederfetish.php Fri, 09 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_feederfetish.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/obama-vp-candidate.php The nightmare of the Democratic primary is all but officially over and now contender Barack Obama needs a friend. Who will accompany him on his endless journey to the White House? Learn more about some of the top contenders. Fri, 09 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/obama-vp-candidate.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/photoshop-my-gramps.php A goon asks his peers to fix up an old picture of his grandpa. They help in their own special way. Fri, 09 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/photoshop-my-gramps.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/daily-dirt/daily-lou-bega.php Daily Dirt for 05-09-08 Fri, 09 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/daily-dirt/daily-lou-bega.php bobservo@somethingawful.com (Bob "BobServo" Mackey) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/seniors-talk-grandchildren.php Senior citizens finally break the silence on the most sensitive topic in any Relaxed Lifestyle Assisted Leisure Community: grandchildren. Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/seniors-talk-grandchildren.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-movie-database/grover-monster-book.php Tim Burton tackles a film adaptation of one of the most-read books in American history and explores the darkness that lurks in the hearts of us all. Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-movie-database/grover-monster-book.php occupyjapan@somethingawful.com (Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfulvision/otaku-anime-japan.php AwfulVision: I think I'm turning Japanese! Wed, 07 May 2008 01:30:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfulvision/otaku-anime-japan.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/garage-sale-falcon.php I had never owned a falcon before, let alone conceived of owning one, but seeing that falcon filled my head with a million great ideas. Life would simply be better with a falcon at my side. Wed, 07 May 2008 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/garage-sale-falcon.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/daily-dirt/daily-falcon-apology.php Daily Dirt for 05-07-08 Wed, 07 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/daily-dirt/daily-falcon-apology.php russ@somethingawful.com (Craig "Russ" Russell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/castle-vidcons-game.php Video games made me socially withdrawn and more likely to murder people, and they can improve your life too. Start off here by enjoying some comic strips combining the fun of the middle ages with the beautiful art of the Nintendo Wii created by SA forum goon Sparr. All fanboys welcome. Tue, 06 May 2008 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/castle-vidcons-game.php davidthorpe@somethingawful.com (Rod) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/no-big-deal.php Heeyyy! New here? Yeah, nice to see some ladies around here. You know, in the workplace. Women in the workplace. The ladies. Heh. Kind of seems like a boys club around here sometimes, right? Finally get some use out of that women's bathroom, right? I mean... you know. We all use the bathroom. I mean, we don't all use the women's bathroom. You do. Tue, 06 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/no-big-deal.php docevil@somethingawful.com (Johnny "DocEvil" Titanium) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/forum-fridays/ff05-05-08.php Forum Friday's Monday looks at some of the best or most interesting threads on the Something Awful Forums from the past week. Mon, 05 May 2008 02:30:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/forum-fridays/ff05-05-08.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/cracked-copy-datajacker.php A forgotten two-fisted cyberpunk thriller from 1986. Hailed by critics as the most accurate example of the genre, "Cracked Copy" follows "datajacker" Case and his efforts to stay alive on the razor's edge. Mon, 05 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/cracked-copy-datajacker.php abraham@somethingawful.com (Caylen "Abraham" Burroughs) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_cell_tower_hysterics.php Mon, 05 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_cell_tower_hysterics.php acetone@somethingawful.com (Hassan "Acetone" Mikal) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/randi-daniels-sleepeducation.php Weekend Web takes a look at atheists, hicks, sleepwalkers, and one special brand of crazy person. Sun, 04 May 2008 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/randi-daniels-sleepeducation.php salmonseason@somethingawful.com (Ian "Salmon Season" Golding) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/facial-hair.php Listen toots, this update is for men, and only the manliest of men for that matter. No gun collection or republican vote is going to fool me! Well, all right, this update is for men who are struggling to grow an awesome beard. Ive formulaically created a list of the top facial hairstyles chosen by the beard-ly handicapped. Sun, 04 May 2008 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/facial-hair.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/conan-patch-notes.php Welcome to the open beta for Age Of Conan, the MMO that brings Robert E. Howard's vision to life! New players can jump right into the game, but those of you who took part in the closed beta may wish to familiarize yourself with the changes that have been made in preparation for this open beta. Sat, 03 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/conan-patch-notes.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/type-writer-sir.php My dearest Lady Guinneviere Royceweatherfaire: I hope this letter finds you in good spirits. Our hunt has encountered a few minor setbacks. Three guides were eaten by elephants and a fourth made the mistake of donning a lion's carcass and sneaking about when the party was shooting at passing birds, as is our nightly tradition. Sat, 03 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/type-writer-sir.php lowtax@somethingawful.com (Jack Thompson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/game-reviews/jack-thompson-gta.php The first honest, truthful review of the smash hit violent murder simulator game Grand Theft Auto IV has appeared, courtesy of Jack Thompson at Something Awful! Fri, 02 May 2008 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/game-reviews/jack-thompson-gta.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/moving-tips.php Everything you could possibly ever need to know about moving. Fri, 02 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/moving-tips.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/criss-angel-mystery.php Each year on Friday the 13th the Princes of Midnight gather at a secret location to celebrate their positions as shapers of the masculine ideal. These powerful figures can sometimes butt heads when it comes to the arrangements for the meeting. Fri, 02 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/criss-angel-mystery.php acetone@somethingawful.com (Hassan "Acetone" Mikal) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/grand-theft-asshole.php An asshole physics review of Grand Theft Auto IV Thu, 01 May 2008 09:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/grand-theft-asshole.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/guides/demographic-politics-marketing.php Like it or not, you are a demographic. This handy guide will help you determine what to buy and how to vote. Thu, 01 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/guides/demographic-politics-marketing.php greasnin@somethingawful.com (Ben "Greasnin" Platt) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/movie-reviews/curse-pirate-death.php A bunch of students try to find a dead pirate's gold, despite knowing full well that his ghost will kill them. Yeah, they're not the sharpest bunch. Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/movie-reviews/curse-pirate-death.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/disgusting-fake-babies.php Babies are Precious Miracles from God. But, if you're like me, you're a menopausal woman with no romantic prospects. Thankfully, collecting realistic collectible dolls is a wholly healthy and fulfilling substitute for the real thing. Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/disgusting-fake-babies.php abraham@somethingawful.com (Caylen "Abraham" Burroughs) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_gaythugdating.php Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_gaythugdating.php docevil@somethingawful.com (Johnny "DocEvil" Titanium) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/jo-buds-2.php We're just looking for a bro to come over to read some craigslist posts and maybe take his pants off at some point. Nothing weird, just dudes hanging out. Tue, 29 Apr 2008 03:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/jo-buds-2.php russ@somethingawful.com (Craig "Russ" Russell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/more-army-combat.php Niko is an alien and Liberty City is a mirror-image universe New York City which is a testing ground that extra-terrestrials are using to prepare for how to behave around Earthlings. Now that GTA IV is spoiled for you, theres no reason for you not to check out these amusing army-themed images from the SA forum goons. Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/more-army-combat.php docevil@somethingawful.com (Johnny "DocEvil" Titanium) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/forum-fridays/ff04-28-08.php We went on a field trip this week! Mon, 28 Apr 2008 04:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/forum-fridays/ff04-28-08.php shmorky@somethingawful.com (VR Kitty Tech Supp.) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/wordstrong-linux-cartoon.php Wordstrong is about Lawrence Wordstrong, a tech guru. He's a traveling guru that goes from town to town helping all those with technical problems. His services are free because his payment is in karma... and you can take that to your cosmic bank! Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/wordstrong-linux-cartoon.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/warhammer-chaos-birdhouse.php 38,000 years into the dark future there is more than just war, there is a hell of a lot of work that needs to be done. Join Blue Stripe in our voyage to the 41st millennium to interview three working stiffs from the war-torn galaxy of tomorrow. Mon, 28 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/warhammer-chaos-birdhouse.php abraham@somethingawful.com (Caylen "Abraham" Burroughs) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_queer_reconciliation.php Mon, 28 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_queer_reconciliation.php acetone@somethingawful.com (Hassan "Acetone" Mikal) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/argue-with-everyone.php Weekend Web takes a look at the first honestly titled forum on the Internet. Sun, 27 Apr 2008 01:30:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/argue-with-everyone.php maxnmona@somethingawful.com (Joseph "Maxnmona" Fink) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/metal-cover-letter.php I am writing in regards to the advertised position in your black metal band. I would very much like a chance to be part of this venture, and I feel that I have the rock god skills necessary to efficiently build and maintain a high profile Satan-worshipping black metal band. Sun, 27 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/metal-cover-letter.php khad@somethingawful.com (Steve "Khad" Grant) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/mmo-roulette/gunz.php Gunz Online is another game that sucks ass. Not to say it is the worst game I have had to review but when you have to rip off Lord of the Rings (even though there is only one ring) for a video game you have gone too far! STAR WARS IS THE ONLY TRUE TRILOGY. Sat, 26 Apr 2008 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/mmo-roulette/gunz.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/space-camp-astronaut.php As I sat in the NASA cafeteria on the last day of space camp prodding at a bowl of Five-Alarm Challenger Chili, the old handyman pushed open the double doors at the opposite end of the room. Although the years had turned his skin into a full body ballsack, the muscles beneath were hard as granite. Sat, 26 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/space-camp-astronaut.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/movies-dumbed-down.php Movies as seen through the eyes of kids! Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/movies-dumbed-down.php stevesumner@somethingawful.com (Steve "Malak" Sumner) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/president-maverick-racist.php More free time than I wanted, some problems, and all of this TV coverage have got me thinking a lot about half-orcs, orcs, and being president. Could an orc really be president in the Forgotten Realms? Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/president-maverick-racist.php abraham@somethingawful.com (Caylen "Abraham" Burroughs) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_naked_angel.php Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_naked_angel.php bobservo@somethingawful.com (Bob "BobServo" Mackey) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/citizen-kane-review.php Gentleman's News Service correspondent Addison Hillsdale IV brings you his 1941 review of Citizen Kane. Thu, 24 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/citizen-kane-review.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/most-awful/popes-cadaver-synod.php Forget about Benedict XVI, these 6 Most Awful Popes make Napoleon look like Neville Chamberlain. These popes are going wild and they aren't afraid to show it all to you! Thu, 24 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/most-awful/popes-cadaver-synod.php occupyjapan@somethingawful.com (Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfulvision/racist-manboobs-cougar.php AwfulVision: That's Racist! Wed, 23 Apr 2008 02:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfulvision/racist-manboobs-cougar.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/barkwire-doublewide.php Doublewide is as well known for his temper as he is for his appetite. He is rarely seen far from food, and is known to make a meal out of virtually anything. This vicious creature would prove more intimidating if not for his debilitating weight, which greatly diminishes his ability to give chase. Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/barkwire-doublewide.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/daily-dirt/daily-dogspotting.php Daily Dirt for 04/23/08 Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/daily-dirt/daily-dogspotting.php abraham@somethingawful.com (Caylen "Abraham" Burroughs) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_fruit_mystery.php Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/alod_fruit_mystery.php russ@somethingawful.com (Craig "Russ" Russell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/embarrassing-situations-parents.php I hate my mom so much!!! She won't let me buy Mortal Kombat or listen to Linkin Park! Thankfully, the relationship I have with my parents doesn't compare to the screwed up stories the SA forum goons have on offer. Crank up the Limp Bizkit and check out these horrific tales of family life! Tue, 22 Apr 2008 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/embarrassing-situations-parents.php davidthorpe@somethingawful.com (Dr. David Thorpe) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/girl-comic-con.php Intrepid reporter David Thorpe goes undercover at New York Comic Con as that most feared of supervillains: A GIRL. Tue, 22 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/girl-comic-con.php docevil@somethingawful.com (Johnny "DocEvil" Titanium) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/forum-fridays/ff04-21-08.php Forum Friday's Monday looks at some of the best or most interesting threads on the Something Awful Forums from the past week. Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/forum-fridays/ff04-21-08.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/japanese-magazine-ads.php The wild information-dense layout of Japanese magazine ads collide with strange English and stranger products. If you want to enlarge your breasts with foam, poop the weight away, and ward off Jewish vampires in Japan, then this is the article for you. It's mostly pictures, so it should take about one minute to read. Mon, 21 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/japanese-magazine-ads.php salmonseason@somethingawful.com (Ian "Salmon Season" Golding) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/passover-420.php So today is Passover, one of the most important holidays in Judaism. It is also 420, a holiday created for the purpose of smoking pot, like Earth Day without the ambition. I guess there's a big party going on downtown tonight. They are handing out these fliers everywhere. Sun, 20 Apr 2008 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/passover-420.php