Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:00:00 +0000 Something Awful http://www.somethingawful.com/ en-us radium@somethingawful.com webmaster@somethingawful.com http://i.somethingawful.com/core/sa_logo_144.png http://www.somethingawful.com/ 144 42 zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/newsheadline-ru-russia.php Look to Russia and you will see the future of the United States. That's as good a reason as any to enjoy these fresh headlines from Newsheadline.ru, Russia's premier news aggregator website. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/newsheadline-ru-russia.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/barry-clarke-agent.php Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/barry-clarke-agent.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Jesse "kingcobweb" Mason and Daryl "Fucking" Hall) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/garbage-day/top-ten-2009.php ...in the soon-to-be-published opinions of other critics, most of whom are wrong. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/garbage-day/top-ten-2009.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/improper-propaganda-posters.php Propaganda! Don't believe what you see, don't believe what you read. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/improper-propaganda-posters.php hockey.johnston@yahoo.com (RICKY HOLLYWOOD) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/levi-johnston/ricky-hollywood-levi.php Levi Johnston responds to more of Sarah Palin's attacks as his alter ego, Ricky Hollywood. Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/levi-johnston/ricky-hollywood-levi.php bobservo@somethingawful.com (Janet from Accounts Payable) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/ladies-night-rocks.php Ladies' night is a great chance to let loose and have a fun time with your gal pals. Order a drink, relax, and forget about your problems. No boys allowed. It's ladies' night. Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/ladies-night-rocks.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/taxidermy-monster-gallery.php Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/taxidermy-monster-gallery.php shmorky@somethingawful.com (Slumbo McGillicutty) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/daily-dirt/desktop-fun.php nooooooooooooo Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/daily-dirt/desktop-fun.php occupyjapan@somethingawful.com (Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfulvision/danzig-gay-rap.php This week: a video so bad, not even Glenn Danzig can save it. Abandon all hope, ye who enter. Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfulvision/danzig-gay-rap.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/dog-classifieds.php LARGE CUBE OF DOGS. I have over 160 canines stacked and arranged in a very specific way so as to all fit in a single room. Buyer must purchase and move entire collection and room. No exceptions. $3,000,000. 555-4218 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/dog-classifieds.php viconia@somethingawful.com (Vera "Viconia" Lynn) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/misplaced-images.php The SA Forum Goons pretty up some old images. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/misplaced-images.php davidthorpe@somethingawful.com (Dr. David Thorpe) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/tooth-tooth-swine.php I'm sure folks been telling you about how Tooth Tooth tasted the unclean meats of a swine and was corrupted. Yeah, kid, I wouldn't believe it either. How could it be so? How could Tooth Tooth, a noble original black man, let the gamey flesh of a snouted ungulate pass the uncorrupted lips he use to impart righteous truth upon his brothers? Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/tooth-tooth-swine.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/lolcat-bible-translation.php Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/lolcat-bible-translation.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (E.E. CUMMINGZ 2.0) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/cummingz-poems-web.php Introducing Web 2.0's mega poet: E.E.CUMMINGZ. Something Awful has collected just a few of his poems from his vast body of work. Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/cummingz-poems-web.php frontalotsa@gmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/twothousandtwelve-2012.php 2012 may suck (both as a year and a movie), but Precious, Fantastic Mr. Fox and A Serious Man prove the best movies stay in limited release. Sun, 15 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/twothousandtwelve-2012.php salmonseason@somethingawful.com (Ian "Salmon Season" Golding) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/pube-collective.php As I pissed into the urinal, I gazed at the largest public collection of pubic hair in the country. It was, for a brief moment, spellbinding, almost, in fact, beautiful. But who piled so many strands? And why? Sun, 15 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/pube-collective.php kewpuh@somethingawful.com (Chris "Kewpuh" Binkley) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/realraptalk-escapist.php Rap and video game forums for children. How did I luck into this shit? Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/realraptalk-escapist.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/cop-partners-movie.php At first glance our working stiff here appears to have hung himself, but it was only meant to look that way. Note the multiple chainsaw wounds. Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/cop-partners-movie.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/diablo-starcraft-blizzard.php Development on StarCraft II began in 2003, and Diablo III went into production in 2005. To put that into perspective, more time has gone into those two games than all of the hours that were spent making video games in the Palaeozaic and Mesozoic eras combined. Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/diablo-starcraft-blizzard.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/angels-1111.php Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/angels-1111.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/wendy-show-november.php The Wendy Show archive from Wendy's final November 1st broadcast. This document is made available for your eyes only. The dissemination of any information contained within is strictly forbidden. Fri, 13 Nov 2009 03:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/wendy-show-november.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/garbage-day/wolfmother-cosmic-egg.php Please, people, I know I told you other bands sucked, but believe me, this is way fucking worse. Fri, 13 Nov 2009 02:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/garbage-day/wolfmother-cosmic-egg.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/please-insert-furiously.php The SA forum goons do what the sticker says. Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/please-insert-furiously.php hockey.johnston@yahoo.com (Levi "HOckey" Johnston) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/levi-johnston/johnston-levi-oprah.php Levi Johnston announces plans to seek joint custody of his children and offers a prebuttal for Sarah Palin's upcoming Oprah visit. Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/levi-johnston/johnston-levi-oprah.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/box-button-lunchbox.php A woman becomes obsessed with the belief that there are too many boxes in the world. She submits the complaint "too many boxes" to the police department. Her note eventually ends up in the inbox of the Box Control division. The crusty box detective agrees to take the case. Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/box-button-lunchbox.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/professor-wonder-balloons.php Wed, 11 Nov 2009 12:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/professor-wonder-balloons.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/stormbeard-neighborhood-wizard.php As I noted in my last letter, Mr. Stormbeard's estranged wife returned home. Her arrival sparked a fresh wave of violent, supernatural events. As the couple bickered and argued, the entire neighborhood seemed to quake. This problem has only intensified with the arrival of Scott, Mr. Stormbeard's teenage son and drug addict. Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/stormbeard-neighborhood-wizard.php viconia@somethingawful.com (Vera "Viconia" Lynn) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/incorrect-quotes-celebrity.php The SA Forum Goons put the right words in the wrong mouths. Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/incorrect-quotes-celebrity.php docevil@somethingawful.com (Johnny "DocEvil" Titanium) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/roamin-dad-25.php This is your father. I am going to win big on National Novel Wiring Month. Read the storyline here, it is a crowd pleaser! Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/roamin-dad-25.php docevil@somethingawful.com (Johnny "DocEvil" Titanium) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/forum-fridays/ff11-09-09.php Forum Friday's Monday focuses on some of the most notable recent threads on the SA forums. If you don't read them, or at the very least, pretend to be interested while you glance at the list, then you're dumb according to me! Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/forum-fridays/ff11-09-09.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/warm-foot2-furry.php Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/warm-foot2-furry.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (AJ Tucker) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/tucker-miss-most.php ISS Commander Lt. Col. AJ Tucker answers the age-old question, "What do astronauts miss most?" He also includes the answers to several questions not asked. Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/tucker-miss-most.php shmorky@somethingawful.com (Andy and Paulo) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/gaming-guyz-6.php Back from the dark caverns of time are the Gaming Guyz to give their thoughts and opinions on the current state of gaming. Sun, 08 Nov 2009 23:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/gaming-guyz-6.php frontalotsa@gmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/a-christmas-carol.php A Christmas Carol is pretty cool, The Men Who Stare at Goats is pretty wack and we present two Movies That Don't Suck. Sun, 08 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/a-christmas-carol.php khad@somethingawful.com (Michael "Slowbeef" Sawyer & Steve "Khad" Grant) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/songoftime.php DO DO DO DO DO DO I AM PLAYING THE SONG OF STORMS. Is an ocarina a real instrument? Sat, 07 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/songoftime.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/dragon-age-codex.php If our forums were any indication, Dragon Age: Origins was not only destined to be terrible, but there was a good chance its cloth map would serve as a vehicle for smallpox. Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/dragon-age-codex.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/goodbye-letters-coworkers.php Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/goodbye-letters-coworkers.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/wendy-show-2.php The Wendy Show show log archives from October 16th through October 30th 2009. This covers the final run of the show prior to the incident. DESTROY ALL COPIES AFTER READING. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/wendy-show-2.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/movies-old-age.php The SA forum goons subject films to the relentless, unstoppable, cruel savagery of time. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/movies-old-age.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller and Sergeant D) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/garbage-day/hate-florence-antlers.php I send Sgt. D videos specifically chosen to drive him insane, and he sends back -- well, it doesn't matter, I hate everything. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/garbage-day/hate-florence-antlers.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/rogue-trader-returns.php Steve and Zack subject themselves to the second half of Warhammer 40,000's Rogue Trader. Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/rogue-trader-returns.php bobservo@somethingawful.com (Bob "BobServo" Mackey) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/hundredth-article-ever.php Bob "BobServo" Mackey is celebrating his 100th Something Awful article, and you're invited! Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/hundredth-article-ever.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/oregon-alcohol-education.php Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/oregon-alcohol-education.php occupyjapan@somethingawful.com (Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfulvision/republicans-clowns-redundancy.php Pillow fartin', totally reasonable Republicans and CLOWNCORE MOTHERFUCKER *honk honk* Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfulvision/republicans-clowns-redundancy.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/bradford-exchange-gifts.php With the economy in the hands of Mos Eisley bandits and your personal finances in ruins, this is going to be a difficult holiday shopping season. Thankfully there is a retailer that not only understands your budgetary restraints, but also respects your delicate and uncompromising sensibilities. Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/bradford-exchange-gifts.php viconia@somethingawful.com (Vera "Viconia" Lynn) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/halloween-jackolanterns.php The SA Forum Goons share their scary Jack-o'-Lanterns! Tue, 03 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/halloween-jackolanterns.php davidthorpe@somethingawful.com (Dr. David Thorpe) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/district-bulletin-god.php Recently, alas, a boast passed Dorroile's glistening teeth that could not be ignored. Our hearing of it was not perfect, said as it was in a noisome atmosphere of Dorroile's own devising, but reasonably certain are we of the general ideage: that Dorroile either has or is a god. Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/district-bulletin-god.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/muldrake-leftards-fonda.php Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/muldrake-leftards-fonda.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/wendy-show-october.php An archive of episode descriptions for TV's The Wendy Show from October 1st through October 15th. These descriptions are made available to security clearances Ruby-4 and higher. Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/wendy-show-october.php salmonseason@somethingawful.com (Ian "Salmon Season" Golding) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/coward-tips.php I know you probably think that if you were in a war, you would do something brave like jump on a grenade, and I dont want to ruin your imagination, but how do you expect to do something that powerful when your cowardice permeates your every move? Maybe you should try following these tips. Sun, 01 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/coward-tips.php