Sat, 11 Feb 2012 07:00:00 +0000 Something Awful http://www.somethingawful.com/ en-us radium@somethingawful.com webmaster@somethingawful.com http://i.somethingawful.com/core/sa_logo_144.png http://www.somethingawful.com/ 144 42 jedjed78@hotmail.com (Jedidiah "Jed" Kirchner) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/feature-articles/make-someone-cry.php Maybe if I wore a cape and ran around someone's living room they'd start weeping violently. Sat, 11 Feb 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/feature-articles/make-someone-cry.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/parents-conversation-coveralls.php Hey, kiddo. Mind if we come in? Your mom and I would like to have a little chat with you. It's... an announcement? No, I suppose that's not the right word for it. Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/parents-conversation-coveralls.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (@Reificant) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/reificant-liminal-states.php The story of the Reificant continues as its civilization falls into ruin. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/reificant-liminal-states.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/hats-judge-wigs.php Hats? On people?! Wigs? On judges?! Whatever, weirdos. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/hats-judge-wigs.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/aliens-unlimited-galaxy.php Steve and Zack encounter unknown creatures in Palladium's guide to Aliens Unlimited. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/aliens-unlimited-galaxy.php bobservo@somethingawful.com (Anonymous Husband) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/extreme-couponing-husband.php Examine the other side of an extreme couponing partnership, straight from the husband's mouth. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/extreme-couponing-husband.php daryl.f.hall@gmail.com (Daryl "Fucking" Hall) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/pigman-cometh-comics.php Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/pigman-cometh-comics.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/dear-mayor-pirates.php Dear Mr. Mayor, I've been trying very hard to see the positives of having a crew of murderous ghost pirates sailing around town in a ship that can move through solid objects and cannot be damaged by bullets. I've thought long and I've thought hard, Mr. Mayor. The simple fact is I don't see any good coming out of this situation. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/dear-mayor-pirates.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/republican-primary-ads.php The SA forum goons approved these messages. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/republican-primary-ads.php davidthorpe@somethingawful.com (Dr. David Thorpe) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/shaggy-butte-festival.php Its almost that time of year again, Shaggy Butters: the 19th annual Downtown Dreams Festival will be taking over the Shaggy Butte Plaza! As always, weve got a stellar schedule of fine art, food, local vendors, rock music and fun. Best of all, weve got the best lineup of big-ticket headliners Downtown Dreams has ever seen. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/shaggy-butte-festival.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/romney-olympics-stop.php Mitt Romney is given a crash course in shutting the hell up about saving the 2002 Winter Olympics. Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/romney-olympics-stop.php shmorky@somethingawful.com (Chair-man) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/sit-casually-cartoon.php This guy can't just sit casually. Sun, 05 Feb 2012 23:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/sit-casually-cartoon.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/chronicle-journey-2.php We're spanning the genres this week. Sun, 05 Feb 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/chronicle-journey-2.php salmonseason@somethingawful.com (Ian "Salmon Season" Golding) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/football-corn-chip.php This is a foot ball party the way it is supposed to be celebrated. We have season two of Frasier and enough corn chips that you won't even notice my moles ones. Sun, 05 Feb 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/football-corn-chip.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/beat-football-team.php Start the fight by running along a wall in slow motion and kicking one guy in the face. Try to get his head to spin around and spray a fine mist of sweat into the air. Land with your back to everyone else, slowly turning your head to smirk over your shoulder. Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/beat-football-team.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/mass-effect-dumber.php Somewhere in the core of Mass Effect is the promise of a nuanced adventure in a detailed sci-fi universe. Unfortunately, that promise has largely been swept aside in codex entries and overheard NPC conversations as the series tightens its desperate embrace of big, dumb action movie conventions. Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/mass-effect-dumber.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (@Reificant) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/reificant-battle-spire.php Let the Reificant's story be a warning. Let its fall prevent your own. Fri, 03 Feb 2012 05:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/reificant-battle-spire.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/supervillain-politicians.php Can you imagine a world in which politicans are evil? Kinda messed up, but the Goons give it a shot. Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/supervillain-politicians.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/feature-articles/for-the-cure.php From KFC breast cancer buckets to bullying small charities, Susan G. Komen has never been good. Thu, 02 Feb 2012 05:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/feature-articles/for-the-cure.php coachthunderbeard@gmail.com (Joshua "Thunderbeard" Pugh) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/devil-georgia-court.php YOUR ACCUSATIONS HAVE GUARANTEED YOUR DESTRUCTION, ATTORNEY!!! I WILL CRUSH YOUR BODY BENEATH THE WEIGHT OF MY HELLISH LEGS!!! I WILL PERCH UPON YOUR TWISTED CORPSE AND PICK THROUGH YOUR BURSTING ABDOMEN! I'LL SWALLOW THE BONES OF YOUR LEGS AND VOMIT THEM UPON THE FACES OF YOUR CHILDREN! IN HORROR THE JURY WILL WATCH AS I *Order in the Court!!* Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/devil-georgia-court.php daryl.f.hall@gmail.com (Daryl "Fucking" Hall) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/funny-paperz-comics.php Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/funny-paperz-comics.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-komfort-kollar.php Pros: Extremely comfortable memory foam support helps you relax on long trips. Cons: Sharp hooks inside cushion dig into neck and become locked around jugular. Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-komfort-kollar.php docevil@somethingawful.com (Jon "@fart" Hendren) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/twitter-tuesday/tt01-31-12.php The best recent tweets you probably haven't seen yet! Tue, 31 Jan 2012 05:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/twitter-tuesday/tt01-31-12.php docevil@somethingawful.com (Jon "@fart" Hendren) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/become-dildo-baron.php I don't know a thing about business, but I think I know an idea when I see it! Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/become-dildo-baron.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/manos-restoration-project.php It seemed 'Manos' would languish forever as an ugly, faded joke. Then the hands of fate intervened. Tue, 31 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/manos-restoration-project.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/cancelled-tv-shows.php Celebrate the demise of Work It with a look back at some of our favorite short-lived TV shows. Mon, 30 Jan 2012 05:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/cancelled-tv-shows.php shmorky@somethingawful.com (A REAL TWIT) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/tweet-show-cartoon.php Dramatic readings of dumb twitter tweets. JABRONI MARKS! Sun, 29 Jan 2012 23:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/tweet-show-cartoon.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/grey-man-ledge.php In the wake of the Oscar nominations, the full spectrum of film quality is right here for you. Sun, 29 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/grey-man-ledge.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller, Randy Black, het and cf) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/garbage-day/somethingawful-bestmusic-2011.php remember 2011? there were some cool tunes back then. let's take a trip back in time ... Sat, 28 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/garbage-day/somethingawful-bestmusic-2011.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (The Rogue Magician) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/magic-trick-secret.php I wear a black ski mask at all times to hide my face. I carry a symbolic broken magic wand. My velvet cape has a large icon sewn across the back, a red circle with a line through it superimposed over a rabbit being removed from a top hat. They will never find me. Sat, 28 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/magic-trick-secret.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (MorgellonsMom) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/morgellons-debunked-vaccines.php MorgellonsMom has a daughter with Morgellons and a family wracked with vaccine-related illness and she will not be silenced by the CDC. Fri, 27 Jan 2012 05:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/morgellons-debunked-vaccines.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/fine-art-goons.php Classic paintings and famous artists get a whole lot goonier. Fri, 27 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/fine-art-goons.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/unknown-search-urdm.php The shocking conclusion of Steve and Zack's run of D&D Module B1: In Search of the Unknown. Thu, 26 Jan 2012 05:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/unknown-search-urdm.php bobservo@somethingawful.com (The Gingrich Foundation for Negro Advancement) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/gingrich-black-economics.php Newt Gingrich extends a chubby hand to a race so desperately in need of his help. Thu, 26 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/gingrich-black-economics.php daryl.f.hall@gmail.com (Daryl "Fucking" Hall) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/crystal-music-healing.php Wed, 25 Jan 2012 07:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/crystal-music-healing.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/proper-dog-names.php Over the years I have made it my personal mission to improve the quality of dog names in the world. I invite you now to view my list of proper dog names, and steal from it for your own personal dog-naming needs. Wed, 25 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/proper-dog-names.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/strangest-fan-art2.php Here are some bizarre images you probably haven't seen! Aren't you glad SOPA isn't ruining our fun? Tue, 24 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/strangest-fan-art2.php jedjed78@hotmail.com (Jedidiah "Jed" Kirchner) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/zombie-plans-skewed.php Love messes with our brains, thats a fact. Do you really want your judgment impaired in a life or undead situation? Or someone flirting with you when youre trying to focus on not being zombie chow? Sorry to my secret admirers, but romance has no place in my zombie plan. Tue, 24 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/zombie-plans-skewed.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/jlist-female-spray.php Lunch is ruined by the contents of a box of unusual condiments from Japan. Mon, 23 Jan 2012 05:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/jlist-female-spray.php shmorky@somethingawful.com (A horrible man) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/voice-internet-xbox.php Some jerk on Xbox Live is mad about the gun you're using. Whateverrrrrrr Sun, 22 Jan 2012 23:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/voice-internet-xbox.php ianthegenius@hotmail.com (The Crazy Eights) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/underworld-awakening-haywire.php There are a lot of films in here and, thankfully, not all of them are crap. Sun, 22 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/underworld-awakening-haywire.php salmonseason@somethingawful.com (Ian "Salmon Season" Golding) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/tamagotchi.php This is Kerotchi and he needs your help. Left beside a cassette of OMCs hit single How Bizarre, he waited for a neglectful owner to never return. For 15 years, Kerotchi was forgotten without [FEED] and forced to [PLAY] where he [TOILET]. Sun, 22 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/tamagotchi.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/batman-movie-reboot.php With this summer's Dark Knight Rises, Christopher Nolan's take on Batman comes to an end. I humbly present my ideas for the reboot which is sure to follow. For instance, Two-Face Face-Off Face Race: Trading Faces. Sat, 21 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/batman-movie-reboot.php ctstalker@somethingawful.com (Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/amalur-reckoning-demo.php Kingdoms Of Amalur: Reckoning makes one hell of a weird first impression. If it was a dude introducing himself at a party, he would be wearing a silk dragon shirt, an inexplicable layer of dampness would cover his entire body, and the first words out of his mouth would be a quote from Stargate SG-1. Sat, 21 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/amalur-reckoning-demo.php docevil@somethingawful.com (Jon "@fart" Hendren) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/twitter-tuesday/dd-diaper-dude.php Help us put this joker in a diaper. Fri, 20 Jan 2012 20:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/twitter-tuesday/dd-diaper-dude.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/euphemisms-blogging-web.php A series of helpful euphemisms for you to use to describe your blogging activities. Fri, 20 Jan 2012 05:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/euphemisms-blogging-web.php garbageday@somethingawful.com (Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/celebrity-zoo.php The SA Forum Goons turn famous names into an impressive menagerie! Fri, 20 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/celebrity-zoo.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/search-unknown-wizards.php Steve and Zack take on module B2: In Search of the Unknown with Steve playing a level 3 gypsy. Thu, 19 Jan 2012 05:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/search-unknown-wizards.php jedjed78@hotmail.com (Hans Appleman) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/oleg-subway-twitter.php Boss nephew oleg is the anti worker antagonist. Thu, 19 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/oleg-subway-twitter.php daryl.f.hall@gmail.com (Daryl "Fucking" Hall) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/christian-furry-fellowship.php Wed, 18 Jan 2012 07:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/christian-furry-fellowship.php