Sat, 27 Oct 2007 09:00:00 +0000 News You Needn't Know provides coverage and commentary on some of the strangest stories the Internet has to offer. After the advent of cable news, it might appear as if everything that occurs is awarded an audience with Larry King and a book deal to boot. There are, however, stories which still slip into--or fail to arise from--obscurity. So, like a chimp combing crumbs from his mate's hirsute backside, in this feature we scrabble through the dregs of the Internet news machine to find the silliest, strangest, or hairiest articles out there and dissemble them to their comedic core. http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/index.php en-us radium@somethingawful.com webmaster@somethingawful.com http://i.somethingawful.com/core/sa_logo_144.png http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/index.php 144 42 petey@somethingawful.com (Chris "Petey" Peterson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/dispatches-man-cave.php Read dispatches from the man cave before it disappears into the bonfire of history. Sat, 27 Oct 2007 04:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/dispatches-man-cave.php petey@somethingawful.com (Chris "Petey" Peterson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/challenging-copernicus.php Read about a celebrity cosmos confusion, shitty Swedish socialists, and peeing on dying people. Sat, 13 Oct 2007 03:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/challenging-copernicus.php petey@somethingawful.com (Chris "Petey" Peterson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/animal-planet-edition.php Did you know about molestering monkeys, carnal camels, or wounding whales? Well now you will. Whether you like it or not. Sat, 15 Sep 2007 02:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/animal-planet-edition.php petey@somethingawful.com (Chris "Petey" Peterson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/fuck-for-motherland.php More news you needn't know. Our Siberian siblings struggle with alcohol and good sense as they set up sex camps to avoid extinction. The true cause of the intoxicated astronaut scandal, and FOX's daring expose of 4chan. Sat, 18 Aug 2007 02:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/fuck-for-motherland.php petey@somethingawful.com (Chris "Petey" Peterson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/disabled-danish-dames.php An analysis of some strange news stories from around the Internet. Disabled Danes demand dough for dames! British badgers badger Basran bumpkins! Surgeons partially poach Chinese Elephant Man! Sat, 28 Jul 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/neednt-know/disabled-danish-dames.php