Sat, 04 Aug 2007 06:00:00 +0000 The Rom Pit is dedicated to reviewing the most bizarre and screwed up classic console games from the 1980's, the ones that made you wonder what kind of illegal substances the programmers were smoking when they worked on them. Strangely enough, the same illegal substances are often necessary to enjoy or make sense of most of these titles. No horrible Nintendo game is safe from the justice of the ROM Pit. http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/index.php en-us radium@somethingawful.com webmaster@somethingawful.com http://i.somethingawful.com/core/sa_logo_144.png http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/index.php 144 42 thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-bugs-bunny.php This is my last rom pit ever. I mean it. Ever. If I come back to this column for any reason, end me. Blow my head off. Cut me up with a rusty switchblade. Anything. Sat, 04 Aug 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-bugs-bunny.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-time-travel.php You would need to draw out a very complex chart to figure out Time Diver. It would be a line graph with How much you would pay for this movie on one side and Thinks Axe Body spray is all you need for deodorant on the other. Sat, 21 Jul 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-time-travel.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-asmik-dragon.php I know I usually point out one bizarre thing and never shut up about it, but seriously this game is about a pink dragon that farts. There is no way I could make this review unfunny even if it was only a picture of the dragon farting on a frog with sunglasses. Sat, 07 Jul 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-asmik-dragon.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-trolls-crazyland.php Dont we all long for the days when running naked through the park and kicking clowns with soccer balls was all we had to worry about? Sat, 23 Jun 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-trolls-crazyland.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-rad-ninja.php Sometimes I forget to check the list of games that the Rom Pit has reviewed, so certain in their awfulness that I just assume they have been under the penetrating gaze of previous Romlords. It filled me with happy ooze to find out that Kid Niki has never been reviewed and I would be the one to break it in. Sat, 09 Jun 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-rad-ninja.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-harry-potter.php Not only is Harry Potter a wizard, hes also a time traveler that can make himself a game for the NES. Is this canon? By the power of Hogwarts, I will make it so! *Updates wikipedia* Sat, 26 May 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-harry-potter.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/snes-cartoon-roadrunner.php I really, really like watching people fail! I mean look at that guy, hes a little coyote and hes starving to death. My belly, its erupting! Now I want to play a game where I can torture this coyote again and again. What? Death Valley Rally for the SNES? Ill play that! Sat, 12 May 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/snes-cartoon-roadrunner.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/ninja-nes-rom.php Have you ever wanted to be a ninja? Please dont. It can only end in tragedy or being stuck saving princesses until you pass out from exhaustion. Do you think they have insurance that will cover a throwing star to the back? Doubtful. Stay safe, stay indoors, and read this review of Legend of Kage for NES instead of poofing in a cloud of smoke. Sat, 28 Apr 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/ninja-nes-rom.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/snes-drakkhen-rpg.php Im well trained at being a wizard because I have used all the wizards on my computer; my internet wizard, my resume wizard, my elf wizard. Although I get to cast hexes at my Mom whenever she yells at me, using my wizard skills in Drakkhen for Super Nintendo is better. Sat, 14 Apr 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/snes-drakkhen-rpg.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-muscle-wrestling.php The NES is famous for seven things and great wrestling games will never, ever be one of them no matter how often I write it on cakes or message boards. Its especially true with the title M.U.S.C.L.E, exclusively reviewed on the Rom Pit. Sat, 31 Mar 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-muscle-wrestling.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-total-recall.php Total Recall for the NES is a pinnacle in terrible NES games, combining the twin snakes of impossible levels with glory holes. Sat, 17 Mar 2007 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-total-recall.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/snes-carmen-sandiego.php Soon I'll be moving away from Michigan. In May I will be transporting myself across the country to seek fame and riches (tax evasion). I don't expect to wow many Portlanders with "Anybody here like the internet?" so I've decided that the best way is to point out random facts I've learned from "Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego?" New friends, ahoy! Sat, 03 Mar 2007 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/snes-carmen-sandiego.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-future-rompit.php The death yodel has sounded again and that means another Rompit Review must be brought before you savage hordes. This week I vivisect the game Back to the Future for the NES due to popular demand from my neighbor who was all like, Hey bro, you should check out this game. It totally blows. Then we high-fived and played air guitar hero. On hard. Sat, 17 Feb 2007 12:30:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/nes-future-rompit.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/treasure-master.php In early 1991, American Softworks released Treasure Master with delicious toy prizes inside. Players had a few months to practice playing the game before a super secret code was released on MTV that would allow players to have access to a prize world tacked onto the end of the standard ones. Sat, 03 Feb 2007 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/treasure-master.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/solar-jetman.php A comedy review of the tedious NES title, Sat, 20 Jan 2007 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/solar-jetman.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/home-improvement.php Home Improvement for the SNES needs some improvement! Sat, 06 Jan 2007 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/home-improvement.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/skate-or-die.php Madcap review of Skate or Die for the NES! Sat, 23 Dec 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/skate-or-die.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/mickey-mousecapades.php Madcap review of Mickey Mousecapades for the NES! Sat, 09 Dec 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/mickey-mousecapades.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/cocoron.php Are your dreams full of bizarre and creepy things? For the NES? Reviewed by Somethingawful.com? Sat, 02 Dec 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/cocoron.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/adventures-rad-gravity.php Want a head bigger than your torso? Read this review of Dash Galaxy for the NES and maybe your dream will come true! Sat, 18 Nov 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/adventures-rad-gravity.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/beethovens-2nd.php A humorous review of a terrible movie's sequel for the SNES. Sat, 04 Nov 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/beethovens-2nd.php acetone@somethingawful.com (Hassan "Acetone" Mikal) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/dual-heroes.php Sun, 15 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/dual-heroes.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/predator.php Comedy review of Predator for the NES. Sat, 14 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/predator.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/xmen-2.php A comedy review of the worst NES superhero game, if that's possible. Sat, 30 Sep 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/xmen-2.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/king-neptunes-adventure.php A comedy review of the terrible NES game "King Neptune's Adventure". Sat, 16 Sep 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/king-neptunes-adventure.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/phantom-fighter.php Learn how to punch and kick every kind of phantom (including funky) in this NES rom review. Sat, 02 Sep 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/phantom-fighter.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/stanley-search-for.php Stanley is in search of Doctor Livingston but all he found was this crappy NES title. Sat, 19 Aug 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/stanley-search-for.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/james-bond-jr.php James Bond had a son and he made a terrible NES game. Sat, 05 Aug 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/james-bond-jr.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/sunman.php A cheap knockoff of the arcade hit Superman is reviewed by Somethingawful. Sat, 22 Jul 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/sunman.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/bible-buffet.php Boardgames about Jesus? Sign me up! Sat, 08 Jul 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/bible-buffet.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/rom-pit-playset.php Want to read what a bunch of jerks wrote about the SNES game "Toys"? Sat, 24 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/rom-pit-playset.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/captain-america-avengers.php Avengers Assemble! No, not the good ones, the crappy ones from the NES. Sat, 10 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/captain-america-avengers.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/claymates.php Morph into someone who cares about Claymates for the SNES and read this review. Sat, 27 May 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/claymates.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/drchaos.php Horrible and terrifying combine to make a terrible game in this NES rom, reviewed by Somethingawful.com! Sat, 13 May 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/drchaos.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/home-alone-2.php Remember getting Home Alone 2 for christmas from your dumb grandparents who have no clue about you? Sat, 29 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/home-alone-2.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/deathbots.php What is the worst game in the world? Probably Deathbots for the NES. Sat, 15 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/deathbots.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/8-eyes.php Do you like Castlevania but want it to be more difficult and really terrible? Then check out this review and maybe 8 eyes is for you. Sat, 01 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/8-eyes.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/lester-the-unlikely.php Imagine what a modern sequel of Lester the Unlikely for the SNES would be like. Actually, don't. Read it instead! Sat, 18 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/lester-the-unlikely.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/day-dreamin-davey.php Find out the true motivations behind Day Dreaming Davey in this review by Somethingawful.com. Sat, 04 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/day-dreamin-davey.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/hammerin-harry.php Do you like to pound? Then get out your hammer and pound away at this comedy NES review. Sat, 18 Feb 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/hammerin-harry.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/packy-marlon.php You'll learn diabetes and elephant go together better than you'd think in this comedy SNES review. Sat, 04 Feb 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/packy-marlon.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/rex-ronan-experimental.php Climb into a body, get comfortable, and check out this comedy review of Rex Ronan for SNES. Thu, 19 Jan 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/rex-ronan-experimental.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/wall-street-kid.php A comedy review of an NES title that makes you play the stock market. Sat, 07 Jan 2006 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/wall-street-kid.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/splatterhouse-wanpaku-graffiti.php Did you know the NES had a splatterhouse game that had a breakdancing dracula? Sat, 24 Dec 2005 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/splatterhouse-wanpaku-graffiti.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/bubba-n-stix.php Review of the poetic Bubba N' Stix for the Genesis by Somethingawful.com. Sat, 10 Dec 2005 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/bubba-n-stix.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/wagyan-land.php Waygan land for the NES makes no sense and this review from somethingawful.com doesn't either. Sat, 26 Nov 2005 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/wagyan-land.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/cowboy-kid.php Can you survive the wild, wild west in this dangerous comedy NES review? Sat, 12 Nov 2005 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/cowboy-kid.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/felix-the-cat.php What's in Felix the Cat's bag? You may find out in this comedy review of this NES title. Sat, 29 Oct 2005 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/felix-the-cat.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/kid-klown.php Comedy review of Kid Klown for the NES, free toy inside! Sat, 15 Oct 2005 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/kid-klown.php thegoblin@somethingawful.com (Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/wai-wai-world.php A trainwreck of konami characters appear in this NES title, reviewed for your pleasure by somethingawful. Sat, 01 Oct 2005 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/wai-wai-world.php