Fri, 19 Oct 2007 05:00:00 +0000 en-us radium@somethingawful.com webmaster@somethingawful.com http://i.somethingawful.com/core/sa_logo_144.png 144 42 zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/instruction-fruit-below.php Instruction to take a fruit and make it grow with love and kindness. A fruit is a very good thing. A fruit must be saved. A mans from below wants to hurt a fruit. Fri, 19 Oct 2007 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/instruction-fruit-below.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/babie-growing-civicsgrate.php A detailed guide to caring after conception. Nurturing the fetus growing within your body and preparing yourself for the joyful moment of birth. Instructions on what to do with your infant after it has reached suitable age for mentoring. Mon, 28 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/babie-growing-civicsgrate.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/stamen-mans-below.php Spring here again and instruction given for a spring. Enjoy the warm sun on your soft skins. Remember the way before the cold times. A birth anew for the earths. Get the low down. Fri, 04 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/stamen-mans-below.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/body-plant-human.php Instructions for your growing body from an unknown but seemingly official source. Tips on nutrition as well as physical fitness that will help you be the strongest and gestate the best. Mon, 02 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/body-plant-human.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/obey-the-voice.php Our benefactors continue the "Instruction for a..." series with a dramatic look at community life. What does it take to get by in this modern workaday world? Find out! Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/obey-the-voice.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/war-surface-doomsday.php These are troubled times. We must listen closely to the voice and heed its words. These instructions will surely put an end to the turmoil and restore peace to our lives. Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/war-surface-doomsday.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/daily-dirt/instructions-for-background.php A behind-the-scenes teaser for the "Instructions for..." finale. Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/daily-dirt/instructions-for-background.php zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/finale-red-worm.php The "Instruction for..." series concludes with this final strange message from our benefactor. What will become of us now? Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/finale-red-worm.php